This material is provided by Robert J. Stuart and posted with the permission of the transcriber, Don Collins.

Introduction

William Calhoun Love was born in Knox County, Tennessee in 1798, and
moved to Caldwell County, Kentucky the following year.  That same year,
his father, Major William Love, was murdered near modern Dixon in
western Kentucky.  W. C. Love kept extensive notes on significant events
in his life as they happened, and in 1868 began work on the memoirs
which follow.  They were completed shortly before his death in 1872.

W. C. was a Cumberland Presbyterian minister and is found on many of the
marriage documents of his era in Caldwell County.  William writes in
detail about his life, including such events as the New Madrid
Earthquake, the murder of his father, the Battle of New Orleans, and the
Civil War, in addition to many of the more mundane details of his life
in the early days of Caldwell County.  I am indebted to Don Collins for
his tireless efforts in transcribing this quite lengthy hand written
document, and for his consent to post it on the Caldwell County website.
 Mostly I am indebted to my third great grandfather, William Calhoun
Love, who had the wisdom to produce such a document and forsight to
advertise its existence in his last will and testament.


Robert J. Stuart (rstuart160@aol.com)

The Memoirs of William Calhoun Love

Transcription by Donald E. Collins

A short memoir of  the life and times of William Calhoun Love, with
names of many of his relatives written by himself for the information of
his children and grandchildren after  him and as  a testimony of  the
good news and long forbearance of God.

The subject of this memoir was born in the grassy valley Knox Co., East
Tennessee one mile and half East Campbells Station, and thirteen miles
west of Knoxville on the 9th day of March, 1798, His father William Love
was born and raised in Virginia, Augusta County in 1760, not far from
Stanton.  His father Joseph Love and his Mother Mary Tays born and
raised in Pennsylvania and his grandfather Robert Love of the Scott
Irish descent emigrated and settled in Pennsylvania not far from the
year 1700, he was married three times and my grandfather was one of the
children by his third wife. It was said of my great grandfather Robert
Love that when he purchased 300 Acres of land, (as land then was worth
almost nothing) he said he wanted no more as he had enough for himself -
children and grandchildren and his great grandchildren after him. As one
of his great grandchildren when it comes to be divided I doubt whether
my share would be sufficient for my last resting place as his
descendants are so numerous. I shall never apply for my part. This
anecdote I had from Uncle Samuel and made a minute of it the 6th of
April 1820 as I was on my way to North Carolina. My father had four
brothers namely Robert, Samuel, David and John. His Sisters namely Jane
Noble, Polly Dillard and Nancy Esther Stut Boyler. My father was younger
than Robert and Samuel and older than David and John.  They are all
dead. Some of them left large families.

My mother's name was Esther Calhoun born and raised on Long Cane,
Abbyville district, South Carolina. She was born the 30th of September
1765 and died March 2nd 1844. She had three brothers: William, Ezekiell,
and Joseph, and three sisters, Ann Hutten and Rachel Norris, the name of
the other I can't call up now I am writing. I have heard Mother often
tell how the Tories plundered their house and carried off their negroes
and horses and how the Negroes fooled them and came back home. My father
and Mother were married in 1785 and settled down in Pendleton districk,
South Carolina and lived there until they had five children. To wit:
Nancy Calhoun Brown, Robertus Love, Polly Tays (?) Shelby, Jane Noble
Moore, Esther Calhoun Asher. They are now all dead except sister Jane. 
After the birth of their fifth child, my father moved to Kentucky. He
left his family at Uncle Robert Love's in East Tennessee Knox County
where I was born in 1798 while he came to Kentucky to settle him a place
on the little Caney fork of Donalson fork of trade water then Christian
County, afterwards Livingston. Now Caldwell. He moved his family after
he had made a small crop and secured his head right to 200 acres of
land, the same on which I was raised and on which my son Robertus
Calhoun was born and on which Ebenezer Morse is now living, and one of
the tracts of land that as surveyor in company with the Co. Comm. I run
around only a few days ago. No one by myself can tell my thoughts of
feelings while I was surveying and running lines over the same lines
that my father run seventy yeas ago, the same place where once lived a
happy family of seventeen members black and white that are all gone
except sister Jane Moore and myself and both of us on the brink of the
grave and especially was my cup of grief filled to overflowing when I
passed by the old foundation of my little cabin where my first born
opened his eyes and looked upon a happy father, but whose remains are
now in Johnson's Isle far from friends, kindred and home and whose death
was caused by a persidious government who violated the cartle that she
made herself for the exchange of prisoners and caused him to be kept a
prisoner through the cold long winter (July 8 - March 3, 1864.)

The next year after my father had settled his family on his land on
little Caney Creek he was killed by the Harps while on a tour of
surveying in what is now Hopkins County near the Henderson County line.
My Father had stopped for the night when about dark, the Harps, two
Cousins, Big Bill and little Mike, came to put up in the same house,
Stegalls, and plundering the house set fire to it and burnt all up. Next
day there was a company of men pursued them come of with them at their
cave where they had their wives concealed, they broke, the little Harp,
a foot through the cane and pea vines, and made his escape.

Big Bill was not so furtunet, he jumped on my father's big black mare
and put off and out run all the company. After they lost sight of him
they got down to consult and let their horses rest and pick pea vine and
after about two hours they saw him coming back like a fox cross his own
trail, they  all mounted and pursued, he out run them all again except
an old Bear hunter, by the name of Leeper, so soon as the Harp found
there was none in sight but one, he turned his horse and snapped his gun
at Leeper and as he turned Leeper shot him.  he fell and beg for his
life, water. Leeper ??? of his shoe and brought him water from a branch
or creek not far off. He promised if his life was saved to show more
money than any man could lift (there has been many a day spent in
hunting the money, but if it was ever found, which I suppose it never
was, it has been kept a profound secret - by this time the company came
up and Stegall jumped down and cut his head off. It was stuck on a pole
at the cross road as you go to Henderson and it’s called even to this
day - the Harps head road. The women were protected from the mob, that
wanted to kill them, and for safety they were put in Russellville Jail
where they lay for a long time, but at length they were turned out and
one of them married and lived near the road between Elkton and
Russelville. In 1818 I took breakfast near her house as I was on my way
to Frankfort as one of the guard taken a young man to the penitentiary
for stealing. The Harps women (I can't say wives) were amongst the most
respectable families in North Carolina. The Harps were all Tories and
about the close of the revolutionary war they stole these young ladies
and carried them to the Indian Nation and lived there sometime and then
started to Kentucky robbing and murdering all they saw, even mill boys
and school children.

Little Harp fled to the lower country and joined in with old Mason and
son, two counterfiters, to rob on the Natchy trace.  I have been told by
those that I supposed knew, that old Mason and the Harps fell out about
the devision of money and seperated in 1807. When General Wilkinson went
to take possession of the lower country after it was purchased he bid a
thousand dollars for old Mason's head the Harp went back and another man
with him. Made acknowledgments to Mason, was taken in again and the
first good chance the Harp and the man that was with him kill old Mason
and his son both. Cut of his head rolled it in mud and threw it in a
canoe and took it down to Natchy and demanded the reward. He was
personally known by some of Wilkison’s men and described by two of his
toes growing together; he and his comrade were both taken out without
Judge or Jury and hung. So you see how true the old adage, sooner or
later justice will overtake us.

My father was killed in August 1799, in his 39th year, in the prime of
life and manhood.  Mother was left in a new country amongst strangers
with a large family most of them children but she found friends raised
twelve children black and white and how often has she repeated that
promise of God:  "I will be a Father to the Fatherless and husband to
the widow." The Black mare that the big Harp made the race on was soon
back to mother, but she died with the yellow water, perhaps she was run
in hal? that day fifty or sixty miles.

From my earliest recollections I was taught to pray and how often at
night have I covered my head and said the little prayer: Lord now you
lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die
before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. After I became older,
some eight or ten years of age, I have often at night retired out to a
certain walnut tree in the field to pray.  I recollect one night, while
at prayer, a limb or an old chunck that perhaps had been lodged in
rocking off the walnuts fell and scared me from my prayer. It was
sometime before I went there again. I really thought it was the devil. I
should have named that prior to this time my mother married again. My
step Father's name was Joseph Kuykendall.

She left her old place and took all the family black and white (with the
exception of sister Nancy who was married about this time) and moved to
Christian County some distance from and north of Hopkinsville). My
mother only lived with him about 18 months or less until she left and
came back to her old place. He was a kind hearted man and good to us
children when sober, but he would get drunk, then he would curse and
swear and act like a maniac. Mother said she could not bear to have such
an example set before her children. He frequently visited my mother and
tried many ways by promises to get her back, but she could never
consent. All or most of his children were boys and wicked. They had one
child a daughter named Malinda. She married a man by the name of Elihu
P. Calvert they had children three boys and three girls: Nancy Sigler,
Melissa Maxbury, Esther Nash, William, Spencer and John G. My half
sister Malinda Kuykendall Calvert died with the cholary in 1834 or 35. I
was put in the field to work in crop time and in the winter to some
little three month school. I soon learned to read and write and was
thought to be amongst the best spellers, tho at this time, with
orthrography, I find myself very much at a loss.

I was never permitted to swear or use bad language words or tell stories
but on the contrary to speak the truth and go to church and there to
take my seat and behave myself in the time of service. My mother was
then a Presbyterian and had me baptised by Old Father Tery Temple. I
have a very distinct recollection of the looks of the old grave gray
headed Father. I recall that while at one of his sacremental meetings
near old Mr. Kincades', to miles East of Bethlehem, of pushing myself
near the old man at the head of the table, he having discovered me
eyeing the bread very close.

After the communion was over, he gave me a piece. I tasted it and wanted
to eat any more of the Sacremental bread - when some of the old Fathers
and Sisters began to clap their hands and shout the preacher jumped the
stand that was close by, and cried out in the language of one of old.
(Joel 2.13) Mother has told me that not with standing she had been a
church member for years yet she never knew what it was to enjoy heart
felt religion until after she had heard McGrady Ewing and others preach.
She became a member of the Cumberland Presbyterian while the preachers
were in council sometime before they were cut off from the old church,
and died in 1844 a communicant of that denomination and some five of her
children names have been written as members of the same communion.

In the close of the year 1811 in the month of December, if I mistake
not, the earthquakes commenced on Sunday night between midnight and day.
We were all aroused from sleep by the lumbering noises like thunder and
the shaking of the house while mother set up in bed and exclaimed:
"Judgement! The Judgement of God upon the world for its wickedness!" We
all put on our clothes in great consternation waiting for day, but
sometime before day, the neighbors began coming in and wishing to know
my mother's opinion as they all knew her to be a woman well read, so
that got the Bible and read, and turned from place to place. just before
day, they came to the conclusion that it was an earthquake. So our minds
was some what eased. Just after light there came a very hard shock. We
all run out of the house for it seemed to be reeling. The horses eating
corn out of a big trough in the yard, run off; the fence seemed like it
would fall over, every thing appeared I had up to this time been like
the young ruler Mark 10:20. Morals and my wicked heart had never yet
been shown me.  Some three weeks after the 1st shake I was the worst
scared boy you ever saw.

We had heard of the ground sinking at New Madrid. One morning, a while
before day there was one of the hardest shakes. We were all roused up,
fearing the house would fall. We rushed to get out. Just then the dirt
chimney fell the dirt bouncing upon the hearth. I thought it was water
and that the earth was sinking. I jumped some two feet high out into the
yard and it was some little while before I really believed I was not in
water knee deep. Such times was never seen before; people going to
meeting day and night and crowding the altar to pray, singing shouting,
professing religions and sins. I feel rejoiced that I can say with the
prophet Isa 26:9 and from my own knowledge that after more than half
century has past that a goodly number of those there then set out for
heaven have gotten there, while some tired on the way and become sore
and turned aside. I myself was not idle, but strive always for
perfections of the best of Christians.

One of the greatest errors that perhaps my mother ever made was that one
in permitting me, at the importunity of my brother, to live with him on
Tradewater and raise hogs. We built us a cabbin about 150 yards of
Tradewater in Hopkins County near to what is now called Wilson Bridge.
For three years or more we marked and gentled the pigs, until we had
many gangs, the pet, the Campbell, the stake pond and the wild gang,
Blue gang. I have never thought we got pay for our pains and labor.  I
am sure we were the loosers in our corruption of our morals. The first
reel I ever danced was at old Mr. John Flints where Dick Tryer now
lives. I was looking on when Liz Flint a great bouncin girl drag me on
the floor. And turned toward the fiddler. "Play us a tune like myself
quick and devilish." I learned afterwards that the same girl turned out
badly. All my young associates were wicked and their parents before
them.  And I have never learned that but two of them ever changed their
course. Nearly all are dead.

The first winter that came we had killed our hogs for our own meat and
salted it down in the corner of our cabbin. My brother went off on some
business and told me to render up the lard. I put the big dutch oven on
the fire and gilled it heapin full of leaf fat. thinking that it was
like snow and that when it melted the oven would not be more than half
full. By this time my brother had concluded to stay all night at a
neighbors house and sent a boy about my size to stay with me. We went
down to the river, fooling about turned the canoe loose pelted it with
rocks until we lodged it on the opposite side of the river then
concluded to swim over for it. We stript off our close and drew lots who
should go first.  The lot fell on Jonah. not withstanding it was in the
midst of winter I pitched in and swam across and turned my face towards
the house. I saw the flame of fire rising out of the chimney some twenty
feet high. I hollowed to Bill Flint, my comrade he broke and ran I
jumped in the canoe and crossed over in quick time and we soon had out
meat Bed and gun out but the old dutch oven was empty and red hot. By
this time it was dark. We then went for our close and built us a rail
rail pen put our bed in it and covered the top with rails to keep the
wolves out and went to bed and slept until morning.

I could relate many other incidents of my boyhood days but that is not
the object of my writing. Having got from under the eye of a watchful
mother I got wild, but not in profanity for it always made me shudder to
hear swearing but in desecration of the Sabbath this was our day to swim
and fish and roam from place to place. My services on Tradewater was no
longer needed by Mr. Moore that married my sister Jane. I returned to my
Mother and assisted Preacher John Burnett in cutting the first brush at
Bethlehem and building a stand to preach from as near as I can fix the
date, I have no record, it was 1815. \par \pard \ri-576\widctlpar Prior
to this date there had been a draft for men to go to New Orleans to meet
the British for war had been going on between England and the U.S. since
1812. As some of my comrades were drafted and Capt John C. Dodds a near
neighbor were going I took the notion to go too.  All my pleading with
Mother for her permission for weeks proved fruitless. The troops had
rendevoused at Smithland. I got her consent to take a boat trip. I
turned my pet colt down to Smithland.  I went there and substuted for
John Briders place for $100. The first news my mother heard from me was
in a ticket sewed in my pet colts Mane. My age at this time was 16 years
and 8 months.

We had a trip down the Ohio and Mississippi River. Some 40 or more
flatboats running against one another. Our boat was called the barn. A
very large old Salt boat and covered with slats like a house and steered
by an oar inside in wind.  She went where she liked. She would often jam
up against other boats they were all afraid of her. We had a merry time.

There was 3 Regiments and over 2,000 men in the 13th 14th and 15th what
was called the Kentucky detacht, Maletia commanded by Gen. Thomas. I
belonged to the 14th Reg commanded by Col Parker and old Granny Harris
was our Major and John C. Dodds my Captain, a brave and valiant officer.

We had many mock battles on our way down when we would land at night in
poping of large cane that grew on the banks of the rivers. I recollect
we had landed opposite to what is now Cairo many of the soldiers
including me built up fires and spread out blankets and slept in the
cane break. In the morning when the signal was given by the trumpet to
make (march?) We all cut loads of Big Cane and at the second trumpet we
threw them on the fires and run to our boats and just as we loosed cable
they began to pop and the soldiers to hallowing. Many of the boats came
opposite the fire just as the cane got in a good way poppin.  We gained
a splendid victory without the loss of one man.  When we first got among
the French and heard them talk I thought I had got out of our world. We
landed one night on the coast near a rail pen full of corn and before a
guard could be detailed, nearly a fourth of the corn was carried off. I
got my share homely (hominy?) and parched corn.

On the 4th day of January 1815 we landed four miles below the city of
New Orleans. As we passed the city the canons were booming below and
smoke rising in black curls until the heavens seemed to be darkened so
intense was I looking on the smoke and listening to the belching of the
big guns. We had no sooner landed than our camp ground was laid in a
four square. Our regiment formed the parrellel with the river. Six or
seven feet was allowed for each man and two feet between. Our old board
was nocked to pieces and distrubuted to our camp. by this time it was
night.

Shortly after dark there came a boat over from headquarters, two miles
below calling for volunteers to drive the British from a mud breast
works that they had thrown up on the night before New Years from which
they were annoying our army.  Our officers buckled on their swords,
paraded their men by companies and designated all that would go step two
paces in front. A goodly number of our company stepped out, me amongst
them. We marched on to the levy on the river and as there were not
volunteers enough for all the Captains to get command our Capt. John C.
Dodds was cut out (I suppose) on account of seniority. He want back and
some of his men with him. I concluded I had started I would go on and
attach myself to Capt. Allene McLain's Company. He was a lawyer and much
a gentlemen and afterwards represented this district in Congress. We lay
there until midnight when we drew our arms. We was marched down two
miles to the breast works (where the battle was fought on the 8th and
there stood guard until 10 oclock in the morning. On the next night we
were all marched down to stand guard.

In the morning I was so tired sleepy and hungry thought I'd die.
Sincerely wished to see the British coming this was the only time that I
felt I could fight.  On the 7th in the evening we moved and pitched our
camps (as we yet had no tents) 200 yards in the rear of the Tennesseians
at the breastworks and while we were measuring our ground I heard a
shrill whistling noise. I raised my head to look and saw for the first
time one of their congreve parade a sky rocket (Congreve invented it)
sailing over my head and lighting in the swamp.

Then here comes one about head high in a blaze and broke our lines and
tremendously seared our artillery horses. It would strike the ground and
skate along for a piece and then rise and turn a different course. It
was now dark We were all ordered to the breastworks and there stood
guard until everything seemed to quiet, when we were sent back to our
camps but freqently paraded throughout the night. Every three guns fired
on picket guard was an alarm. Finally just as the light was appearing on
the morning of the 8th of Jan. 1815 there was some twenty or thirty guns
heard on the front (the enemy trying to drive our pickets) these were
reality. Now all felt assured the hour had come (the long role was
beaton) we were all marched to the breastworks which was about 4 1/2
feet high. We formed in the rear of the Tennessians. they were two feet
deep. I was in the front rank of the Kentuckians and third man from the
breastworks. We were but four deep at this point, some half a mile from
the River, right near the edge of the swamp. We had hardly form a line
when our front guard came running in crying our "sweeps" our watchword.

There was a crossing place of the ditch near by the pickets said they
were coming. I must confess that I was scared, the hair on my head
seemed to stand up. but this feeling all subsided as soon as the battle
commensed, one of the soldiers in my front I don't see them he replyed
look low down. I bowed to a level, with the breastworks and looked under
the fog that was rising. Just as I beheld them (their white pants red
coats and black garter) like a cloud rising they blew: the charge. They
had a speaking trumpet made out of tin that wound round like a ramshorn
and perhaps it straightened would measure ten feet, with this they could
give any signal go forward, stand still, or retreat.

They blew and it seemed to me no man could speak more plainly. Charge,
Charge. Charge. I heard it say distinctly three times, when the sound
was drowned by the awfullest yells that ever I heard or ever want to
hear again. Imagine to your self ten thousand men at the top of their
voice all at one time shouting and yelling and here they come while
everything was still on our lines not a whisper, only the word of
command from the right: (Don't shoot - pass it on.) This and its counter
word, cease fire, were the only words of command given.

But to hark, listen the big mouth cannon from both sides opened, the
enemy had charged in two divisions and had left an open space in the
center where their reserve was drawn up and where their commander in
chief (Pakenham) was and where they had placed their artilery to play on
our center supposing that all our reinforcement was at the center,
deluded commander. If he had been told, if he had been told. All our men
who could get arms were at the breastworks and but four deep and raw
troops at that, what would have been his expectation, well the battle
commenced now in fury and in earnest, the small arms commenced not
withstanding, the command don't fire and in a few minutes the
breastworks was or seemed to be aflame of Fire as far as the eye could
see. My...was loose on the muzzle of my gun and about the 3d fire jumpt
off. I was anxious to recover it, for I look every minuet which the
enemy would be on top of our breastworks.

I slipt in between the soldiers in my pond and look and felt for it. I
remember looking to my right and left and the top of the breastworks
seem to be a sheet of fire. I failed however in recovering my baynet
until the battle was over. By this time all the front rank of the enemy,
those that had been detailed to carry the scaling ladders and bagassens
(bunches of sugar cane) to fill up the ditch had been cut down, they
stagered and fell back, a short distance, but soon ralied again and
halted within sixty yards of us fired only advancing near as they would
bring up line after line in front of those that had fired. And so exact
were their movements, that you could see none of the fallen until they
retreated finally which they did in less than an hour from time then
blowed the charge.

After they retreated it seemed to me that half of them were lying on the
ground, in some places they were thick after the firing had ceased.
After the firing had ceased (which it did not until they were far beyond
musket shot) many of them got up and came in unhurt. As deserters, some
got up and commenced turning the dead and wounded about and plundering
there was two in front of where I was. We supposed looking for friends,
hollowed at them to come in they raised their heads and looked at us and
plunder on, at last they raised run and started off. I suppose there was
two hundred guns fired at them, at the crack of the guns they pitched
over on their faces. After things quieted a little several of us run
over into the battle ground, and got guns while dirt and clover were
lying all around us from many of the enemy back in the ditches shooting
at us with their little geaugurs guns about 2 ft long with riging sites.
I got two muskets. I thought of nothing else. we had many men inactive
for want of guns.

One of them I pulled from under a man when he exclaimed in language that
I never understood, until I was a master Mason. I had no sooner got back
to the lines than the battle commensed across the river. I stood looked
and listened until the firing ceased in a few minutes after here comes
an order from Old Hickory (Jackson) for the Kentucky troops to re
inforce. I gave one of my guns to Jake Bird who had busted his along by
me during the Battle, the other I kept. I had sit down the musket I drew
when I crossed into the battle ground and some villian stole her. I
never saw her to know her anymore. We all started in double quick six
miles into town. We got boats to cross in, most of the way up was
crowded with citizens who had come out to the bank of the river some
undressed as they jumped up. When the battle commensed, many had their
arms full of bread and some had cattridge and hollowing for Kentucky,
Kentucky. Centuc the good never tire. I got a couple of loaves of bread
for mind you we had ate nothing from dinner on yesterday. I gave one to
our Captain kept the other.

We were ordered to shoot off our guns the British Musket I had was
loaded when I got it and the pan open. She had either flashed or her
owner had forgot to prime.  I handed her to a man who shot her off he
put her up to shoulder (the British soldier only brings his gun to his
hip and level her) took sight when she fired he was nearly whurled
around. Our company got an old Keel boat with two small ones, knowing
the swiftness of the stream I expected we would land below the enemy on
the other side. We were ordered to load our guns and seeing so many
coming up against I couldn't eat my bread. I offered it to others, but
they all shook their heads. I loaded my gun and stood in silence until
we were ordered to march down the levy through rain and when the rain
ceased we were ordered to shoot mine failed to fire. done nothing but
flash. I borrowed a hatchet from a commrade set down in the mud to
unbrick her while at work orders came to march. I picked up the barrel
in one hand and the stock in the other and went until we called a halt
to see how many soldiers we could gather up that had run.... I got some
help in getting the brick pin out the load fell out and I have been of
the opinion the wrong end was down.

While waiting for reinforcements (as we could not gather a hundred that
had been in the battle on West side of river they had scattered into
the.... while waiting I strolled out amongst the orange groves and came
across his...a ditch considerable amount of house hold plunder. I took
nothing but a new tin bucket with a lid that would hold about 3 quarts.
We lay all night...ditch. On Monday morning we received reinforcements.
we formed in three divisions and marched down determined to retake our
breastworks. On the Sunday evening before a large sugar house was
discovered by some of our boys about halfway between us and our enemy.
Several of us went down and brought loads of sugar. and it was said at
first the British was ran out of the sugar house. We all got what we
could eat and put in our pockets or handerchief plus my little tin
bucket and carried back to our camp on the Eastside.

One division marched down the river, one in center, one at edge of
swamp. I was in center, all was as still as death, not one spoke except
by an of... - "Men keep dressed" the most of them I suppose thought they
might need their hankerchief and you see small piles of sugar pored out
on the ground as you march along some distance. There was a mill race
dug out from the river to the swamp dirt thrown to one side four feet
high, this obscured the sight below as soon as we crossed that they
enemy cannon opened up - to our great Joy who informed us that most of
the British had fled recrossed the river and no sooner did we get this
information than the heavens were soon rent with shouts.

We were now marched back and recrossed the river, dismissed and told to
reoccupy our old camps. I was so stiff from it all that it was with some
difficulty that I reached camp - when we reached camp all our provisions
had been stole. it was now night and nothing to eat. In the morning we
drew provisions but before we could cook it - it began to rain in floods
until the ground was a foot deep in mud. Tuesday night we got high
ground enough to kindle a fire and cook some fruit. We had eaten from
dinner on Saturday. I can't say I suffered as many did. I suppose that
eaten the sugar and feeling sick was the cause. My mess mates found an
old cart in the swamp. We carried the body and turned it upside down and
there was room for three of us to sleep.

The dead was carried off and buried. When we got Back the number the...
killed and wounded and prisoner has been variously estimated perhaps
three th....or less.  Ours lay on both sides of river and was perhaps
less than one hundred. General Gibbs commanded the right of the enemy
and fell nearly oposite where ... fought, at the head of his division,
not more than 70 yards from our lines his fine bay horse was also
killed.  I mention this to show that a man can be brave and yet be on
the wrong side and how true is the Proverb: he is double armed who hath
his quarrell just. Gen. Pakenham was also killed a quarter of a mile
from our lines. Both armies remainded in sight of each other for some
ten days and kept up a cannonaiding one on another. I have stood guard
many an hour when I see the flash at night and the round curling smoke
in the day fell down...ground until I heard the report for the ball came
quicker than the sound, on the 18th of the month an exchange of
prisoners was affected. I watched the manuever which took place in an
open field before us, there was first the sound of trumpets then a flag
from both camps and respectful officers behind them the flags stuck down
about a hundred yard apart.

An officer from each side then advanced on horse back, meeting each
other and passed and turned with their faces towards their own flags,
met bowed and shook hands. Exchanged papers in an instant up spurs to
their horses and retired behind their flags to head quarters. This was
performed a time or two and the prisoners marched out and took charge of
by their own officers and then marched to their respective camps. A few
nights before the exchange I went to sleep on the same ground while on
picket guard. I had been sent out under a regular capt. and he refused
to let his men at the guard fire, when mounted a third time. I got so
sleepy a little before day that it seemed impossible to keep my eyes
open. I put tobacco Juice in them and walked backwards and forwards on
the line as far as I durst to walk, found myself going to sleep while
walking and staggering out of the line and being in danger of being shot
at by my own men.  I went back to my post layed up my gun with my
blanket around me and lay down with my head on a bunch of sugar cane the
enemy had tied up to fill up our ditch. Determined that no man should
get my gun without my waking. No sooner down than fast asleep, but
providence interposed. I woke up a few minutes before relief came. On
the 19th Volunteers were called for to go down to the lake to annoy the
British that had retreated.

We was paraded by things not being ready we were ordered to stack our
arms on the parade ground and wait further orders. I drew upon my sugar
that I had brought from over the river and made some sweetened water and
while I was eating I took sick at the stomach. When the company started
in the evening I was too sick to go and got worse every hour for 3 days
and nights.  I couldn't eat and wanted nothing but cold water. I sent
for the doctor Old Mr. Pentacost he came and threw back the tent door (a
few days before we had draw our tents) he ask me what was the matter and
I told him I didn't know, but I was very sick. He brought out a big oath
and swore it was nothing but the measles for me to drink nothing cold
but plentifully of warm drink. The next morning I was broke out in red
pimples with the French measles.

John Neely, Alex B. Davidson Wm. Garners wifes father and Jacob Bird 3
of my mess mates. I did not like the other two I shall not name them.
After I got well I made frequent trips into town. I knew my brother was
on his way down with a flat board of produce and I was almost dead for
corn bread.  My ingenuity was often taxt to the full to get through the
guard. Sometimes we would get pay but more frequently not. I have waded
ditches five or six...through the swamp. I have slipped by the guard
under the Levy, between him and the river.  One time I took the windward
of the guard while he was standing with his back to the wind. When I got
close I run he hollowed stop. I kept on.

To my great grief my brother never come until I had left. News of peace
came all our thoughts turned to home. I got a furlow and left on the
morning of March 16 in company with Jim Waddington, Alex Dunn and
others. I wished to stop at my sister Polly Shelbys and then come home
through the nation with the Army.  My company turned off one by one to
see their friends.  I fell in with a soldier from Mississippi. I left
him in consequence of his stealing a tin cup where we stayed all night.
I got to my sisters near the grindstone ford of the Bayapier and stayed
10 days until Army came up.  I joined them and came with them Calverts
ferry on the Tennessee River then a good many of us took passage on the
top of a flat boat and came down the river and got out not far from
where Birmingham now is and our company got less every few miles, by men
turning off to their homes until I was left alone until in my old
neighborhood where some of my old neighbors fell in and accompanied me
home where I met my Mother and all the family at the gate and such other
Joy I had never experienced, and if I recollect and I think I do, it was
about the 24 of April.

I had been gone about five months and my age now was 17 years 1 month.
The war was now over and sweet balmy ("bomy") peace had once more
returned to bless our land and Mother and Malinda my half sister and
myself constituted all the white family. I should have been contented.
Like the Prodical.

The first camp meeting at Bethlehem was approaching. after already
clearing undergrowth we rolled some split timbers together that had been
cut for boards behind two small truses covered them with split slabs cut
a notch in each tree and put in a plank for a hand board and a bench...a
seat and some forks and covered the whole with boards. We then split ...
puncheons and laid them on logs for seats.  I built Mother a log camp
the meeting came. Finis Ewing, W. Barnett and John Barnett and David
Mclin were in attendance big crowd.

It seemed every one was at the alter to pray but me.  I concluded to the
woods and pray. I went to a white Oak near to where DeBirds house ... I
reflected how shall I pray if I kneel down here and get religion, go
back shouting the people will call me a hyprocrite as they have not seen
me engaged in seeking. (I have ever abhorred hypocracy.) I came to the
conclusion I would pray for religion here after, now. How true the words
of God Cor. 2.14.

The meeting closed I was still unhappy. Perhaps I would find happiness
in Education. I went one session to Mr. Darneal who was teaching in the
Baptist meeting house where William OHarroh lived and died, some two
miles of Princeton. I boarded at Col Arthur H. Davis and William H.
Bigham with .... We lived some 300 yards of Church house. We went to the
accademy of Morning study.  Several young ladies found out and they make
it convenient to be there as soon as we were. We had jovil(?) hours, the
school class and education improved, but not my morals. That I was still
discontented, still in w.... The wicked are like the troubles sea.

I came to conclusion to look around for a wife. I became acquainted with
several worthy young ladies yet I could not find one to love, well
enough for a wife.  Camp meeting came again at Bethlehem.  We had also
built a Church. There were three sermons preached at the same time David
Malin in meeting house; Wm. Henry in my Mother's camp and Thomas
Campbell in another tent on the North of the square. I went first to one
and then the other. I was now a regular moaner, half hearted and
strongly inclined to seek religion by the works of the law. I went far
and near seeking and praying up to Piney Fork and even up in Christian
County. I attended a camp meeting up th.... when old Mother Wheeler got
stabbed in the thigh by a villian while on her knees at prayer one
night. After mourners were called he was arrested and heavily finded the
next day. William Perkins and I were both seekers. We went out on the
road to talk about our condition he got so bad off that he fell down on
the ground near where John Hardens gate now stands and begged me to
pray. there was an old religious Negro man passing not far off. I called
him and the old Black Man prayed, William professed religion and rose
happy and shouting. The last I heard from him, he was still pressing
onward and upwards toward the better land 2nd Chron. Ch. 32 v. 31.

On my way home from a camp meeting in Christian County John 3, 7th I
...ly vowed to God that I would do better and I felt so determined I
stopped my horse and got down on the side of the big road, not far below
old Judge Whitnedd, where the widow Wiley now lives and pulled out my
pocket book and wrote down my covenant. When I got ... there was a party
in the neighborhood that had left particular word for me to come over.

I was there but a few minutes until I had my coat off at the ball. I
forgot my vow and when returning home I felt so ashamed I got my pocket
book out and tore out the vow. Oh the goodness and long forbearance of
God. My Soul was perishing.  I was still in want. Truly I felt the force
of the wise Man's declaration Prov. 13:15th. "The way of the
transgressor is hard." In the first part of the year 1816 my brother and
Thomas Travis, my brother-in-law T. S. Shelby and Anon Shelby had loaded
a flat boat at Flins old Ferry on the Ohio River with produce for New
Orleans and about the time for starting my brother married and I went
down in his place. At the grand Gulph T. S. Shelby went home and Aaron
Shelby sold out his part of the load at the Petty gulph below to old Mr.
Drumgule and took one of the likest young Negro girls in part pay.  I
waked up at midnight to writing the contract. We loosed out at light in
the morning, Drumgale, the girl and Aaron all on board. Aaron Shelby
called up his girl and told her to get breakfast, she would look at him
and smile, but sat still. She was an ediot. he got out with her at
Natchy and sold her and doubtless fool some one else. Thos. Travis got
sick. We hired a young man from the East as a hand and went on to New
Orleans. Travis and Drumgale sold (?) their part of the load and the
young man crossed the lake and I was left alone.  I fastened up the Bow
of my boat with a plank and stay there until out, at night I locked up
and went to bed. It was crowded with flat boats all around.

When I had nearly sold out I went one night to a gambling house (I had
great desire to try my fortune) I put all my money (save $2.00) sewed up
in my side pocket.  I watch for awhile until I thought I understood the
game. I commensed laying down my money on a figure and the fellow that
managed the wheel picking it up in a few minutes my money was gone. I
left forthwith and never again had any desire to try my fortune on the
wheel. Another Providence in my favor, had I been lucky, no telling long
since I might have been a gambler. The young man that we hired and
crossed the lake set in to work...a man and became suspicious of that
man was going to take him up and put him in jail. He told his employer
he would work that day then walk out, his landlord told him he was going
to town that day, take a horse and ride with me. This alarmed the man
from the East so much he dodged out and lay in the woods until some men
came across him took him up on suspicion and whipped him almost to death
- - he then came up to Mr. Travis in Mississippi and told him all about
it. He stated to Travis that in Virginia he undertook to build some kind
of machinery and run out of money and forged a draft it was found out
and they was about to arrest him he set fire to his machinery and ran
off. He thought every one knew what he had done and was ready to take
him up. We have simply noted this to show the power of an evil
conscience and if it be so in the green what will it be in the day of
the "Great Eternity".

I had crossed Lake Ponchetrain and came up to Port Gibson a foot...sent
my horse there by T.S. Shelby when he went home.  We left the light
bayou St. John just as the river lighten up and landed in Madisonville
about night. Some passengers carried aboard the schooner austers
(oysters?) to eat to keep them from getting sick. I was advised by an
old seaman to take a bottle of whiskey. I spread down my blanket near
the Helms man. He was praying for a stronger wind. We had a pleasant
trip without being much sick. I fell in company with two elderly
gentlemen that lived near Natchy by the name of White and Bailey.  We
cam to a little stream called Tamsypaho (Indian name) it was high and
swift. The same canoe could carry only White and me went over. Bailey
turned in his horse he missed the ford and took down stream. White in
the canoe after him.  The horse got out in a little Island and
White...canoe on the head of it, he was so jammed in the logs and
willows that they couldn't get out.

I went out where I heard some axes and got some boys to come help down a
tree across the fork. They boys went in and we got White, Bailey and the
horse out. In a few days we parted. I stopped to stay all night the many
asked my name, where I lived, where I had been as most people do. My
business also. I answered all his interrogative (told) him I had been at
New Orleans with a flat boat of produce and was on my way home. After
dark I was setting by the door to catch the Kentucky breeze when the
dogs commensed barking and howling and running to the gate and back. I
became alarmed for fear I might be murdered that night for my money. I
.... not the way in the dark. I refused to go upstairs saying I was too
durty. I spread my bed in the corner and lay with my butcher knife in my
hand and if I slept any I did not know it.  I learned a good lesson not
to be so communicative among strangers after that I would just say I was
a hand on a flat boat.

I got to Mr. T. S. Shelbys, my brother-in-law in safety. Got my horse -
fell in with two men who lived near the mouth of the Ohio. They bought
an old salt boat at Calbe.. Ferry on the Tennessee River. We put horses
on. I got out when opposite home found all ... My brother was pleased I
had done as well as I had with the produce.  I was now Captain of the
Donaldson Company and tried to fill the vacumn in my bosom by studying
military tactics and reading history. But I was still in want. Like the
prodical determined to join myself to a citizen of that foreign
country...sea. I kept all secret. Issac Cobb, five miles out of
Eddyville was loading tobacco... to him us a boat hand to New Orleans
but Oh the goodness of my heavenly Father. After ... put on the load I
went home to pack my clothes that night I took the winter fever and was
days out of my right mind. The boat put out and I concluded to raise
another crop. Before that crop was laid by I determined to seek for
happiness in married life. I found the ... that I loved and believed she
loved me.

I was married 24th July 1817.  My wifes name was Honor Tison. She was
born and raised ..... County N.C. and was 6 1/2 months younger. Her
fathers name was Abraham Tison, and died (when she?) was a child.  Her
mother's maiden name was Honor Hart. My wife was the youngest of 7
children. Her brothers were Jacob, Bowen, Her sisters: Sally Hart, Polly
Boulton, Temperance Jour..., Elizabeth Forbes, all dead.  Some left
large families. After we married I built a little cabin on the land
which I was raised in Caldwell, W. 6 miles North of Princeton. I raised
our first child Robertus Calhoun was born Sat May 30, 1818. I then
purchased the farm (on which?) my mother-in-law lived four miles east of
Princeton. Our second Adeline was born. I raised...crop. The title of
some of the land not being good I have the land back and moved and
...year on the banks of the Tennessee opposite the head of the seven
mile Island.  The rats and other vermin nearly destroyed my crop before
I could get it gathered.  The place proved.... We lost our little
daugther Adeline Sept. 24, 1821. In 1820 I had left my wife with
h....and visited my wife's uncles Moses and Jacob Tison in N.C.  They
were very respectable. I collected $240 due my wife from her father
estate.  I took my wife home a flask of Moses home made wine. We were
well pleased.

In the winter of 1821-22 I moved to Madison Co., Tenn.  A new country. I
... some 8 acres cleared and a cabin ten miles N.E. of where Jackson was
afterwards located. No laws, but little preaching we all lived and done
as we pleased. I must admit with shame I departed further from the way
that my pious mother had taught me than ever before. great object was to
make friends and this was often over or around the bottle. Here I ... an
anectdote in reference to my self. I had been to help a neighbor roll
logs after we done we set around the social circle in vain talk with the
bottle in our midst. Until shades of the evening reminded us of home. I
started and only had about a mile to go. A quarter of a mile from home
and where I had to leave the road and go through the woods ... myself so
fuddled as we then called it I fell ashamed that my wife should see me
in this condition, so I concluded to take a nap and sleep it off.  The
moon shone bright in the east... when I arose to go home, the moon
having turned west and I having not observed...side of the road I had
lain down, I turned into the woods on my left and after going and on
right from home between midnight and day and not finding home, I became
bewildered and stopped to reflect in the wild woods. I heard a dog bark.

I followed the sound and came to a house where they were sitting up with
a sick man ... miles from home I hollowed at the fence, the lady came
out. I inquired the way to the post office at Col Taylors. I was ashamed
to inquire for my home.  The lady wanted to know my name.  because I
refused to tell her she refused to me the way, while we were talking her
husband coughed then I knew where I was. I started off and she sicked
the dogs at me.  I got home just before day.  The joke was so good I had
to tell it. I was present when her husband died and at his sale I bought
his hone for razors and have it yet. This occurred 46 years ago and here
in the county of Madison in the year 1822 ten miles N.E. of Jackson in
my ... broken so many laws. In my 26th year and the infidel asks what
good did your pious... do? I answer "much." If it had not been for this
early raising it is more than ...nay almost certain that I should never
have returned from my wandering and it seems ...that eternity will not
be too long to praise God for the example and instructions of a Good
mother.

I was present at the organization of the county and made two crops at
this place. this place William Washigton Love was born, Wed 23 April
1823. On Sat 12 Jan 1822 fifteen months previous Eliz Jane was born.  I
sold out my improvements and took a 7 year lease in Gibson Co., on the
north .... in four miles of where Trenton the Co. seat was located. A
new county just being settled. I had to open a road through the woods to
my place. I drove my wagon up to near a big fallen tree and camped until
I cut logs and made boards to build a cabin. This was 1824.  There was
now 8 in my family. My wife, myself three children, my wifes niece
Delphina Joiner.  Two blaks a man Cato, and a Negro girl called.....

We fenced some 9 acres and planted 5 of that. In the fall the
commissioners came and fixed the county seat where it is now and called
it Gibson Port. We petitioned the legislators and had it changed to
Trenton, to perpetuate the name of one Washingtons battle fields. The
co. was organized by the election of civil officers, clerk sheriff and
the qualifying of 8 or 9 magistrates that had been appointed by the
legislature. Court was held ... my house. I had built another cabin with
a passage and also a stable about 20 feet square of round logs, mostly
beach, as it had never been used, I gave it up. I split some punc...and
put them logs as a seat for the court, stuck down some forks and made a
railing for lawyers behind which was a slab for their seat and in front
boards on forks for their book writing tables. I was appointed one of
the five commissioners to draw up a plan and lay off the town. We met
and none but myself had a plan or plat. Mine was adopted. I believe all
was pleased.  I surveyed and run off the public square, streets, alleys
and lots. and on the day of the sale cried off the lots. Court came.  It
was somewhat amusing.  I was the first victim. I got a barrel of what we
called the over Joyful for the accomodation of the court and my
tapster(?) had detailed contrary to law and for which I was presented
and fined one dollar, fine being as low as law would allow. I paid the
prosecuting lawyer his fee by board and furnishing him a quilt to sleep
on at night on the puncheon floor.... we built a log court house and
moved the court to the county seat. I received some $60 as commissioner
and then got ninety for clearing off one fourth part of the public
square a.....

About this time March 13th 1825 our 5th child Alfred Lafayette was born.
The county was settling fast from several states mostly Ky and Tenn.
Preachers from various sections and we began to have regular preaching.
Amongst them was James Gurthry a (Guthrie) a big preacher of the
Cumberland Presbyterian church. I heard of his appointment. I went to
hear him.

I took him home with me, as soon as he had spoken to the family he went
to his saddle bags and pulled out a book and sat down to read and
remarked that I must excuse him as he was not a man of ceremony. He
advanced the doctrine which I now full embrace, but at that time
rejected. If a man should live to the age Methusalim and never commit a
sin until he came to die and that sin only in thought that the Law of
God would ever pour its curses on his head. I thought then that no one
could be saved, he was showing the impossibility of salvation by the
works of the law - I was elected Justice of peace. I also commanded and
mustered the militia as their adjutant, but I was still in want.

My early training and that little verse of scripture "ye must be born
again" seemed ever before me. I now concluded to seek happiness amongst
some of the secret societies of the day.  I went away to Paris, Ky in
Henry Co., 55 miles and joined the free Masons. Altho I am a Mason at
heart and love the institution for its morality, charity and friendly
feeling that it inculates Yet on this alone the soul will perish. About
this time or rather the year before our sixth child was born Elizabeth
Adeline Saturday 22 April 1826. The year 1827 passed with a few bear
hunts and shooting matches.

But the ever memorable year of 1828 ....in things of reference to myself
and family. Three of them should never be forgotten in time as I am sure
that two of them will ever be remembered in eternity. 1st. The birth of
Maria Louisa our 4th daughter and 7th child on the 9th of March, my
birthday. 2nd. My suspension from the lodge for card playing and
drinking on the sabbath day. 3rd. My last gambling and horse racing.
4th. Lastly but by no means the least, my conviction and conversion.

In the spring I made a horse race with James Turner for $200. I was to
run the young Sirarchy a stable horse belonging to Joe Nichols and
Turner a race mare called Winding Blades, the distance of 600 yards. I
was to give him 20 feet after allowing two weeks training. I got a man
by the name of John Wilson, an old horse trainer to .... me for half the
bet. We got a stable near the race track, both of us lay in the stable
every night save one, about four days before the race there came a rain
and raised the creek between us and where the other party was training.
We supposed there would be no danger everything being so wet we slipped
in the house, in the morning the horse muzzle was off. We took him out
for exercise, he began to swell until he dropped dead. I was of the
impression then and still am yet, tho it has been 40 years ago, that the
horse was poisened. The day came, also the crowd at the hour he led up
his racer and demanded if I was ready.

I offered to put in a young filly called Wild Cat, but he refused and
galloped his mare though and claimed the forfeit, which I believe was
some $50. He then accepted my nag. There were several small bets my
little Wild cat beat his races by several lenths. I won side saddle.
Some weeks later we got a bottle of whiskey and went in an old waste
house on Sunday and there at several card games I won the forfeit back.
This was the cause of my suspension from the Masonic order for six
months. I helped form the order in Trenton was an officer and a deacon
on Johns day, June 24. It was a rightous sentence. But my not being
notified I was about to appeal to the Grand Lodge when they at their
next meeting reconsidered and restored me to full fellowship. Mr.
Nichols brought suit for his horse, Milton Brown (later Judge at Jackson
Tenn) and James Grundy son of Felix Grundy, who killed himself by
drinking, was his council. Adam Huntsman was mine. Refer to this again.

Camp meeting time was coming on the Presbyterians had one in less than a
mile ofmy house.  William Barnett, Richard Beard, John C. Smith, John
and James McKee, W. M. Bumpas and others and one tho not visible,
greater than all these together. And it pleased this great and good
merciful being to show me again that I was a big sinner hastening to
distruction so often grieved the holy spirit. I felt almost ready to say
there was no mercy for me. And right here and then if I am allowed to
Judge the Prodical came to himself. The good Lord gave me strength and
courage to commence once more to seek salvation of my soul and here
vowed not in my own strength as here-to-fore but in the strength (in the
faith) of the God of Israel.

That I would pray and seek for the pardon of my sins as long as I lived
and that I would die pleading for mercy.  If I never obtained it, that
if it pleased the Lord to save me it would be unmerited mercy and if I
was damned it would be just. I was not excited nor was I at the altar,
but in a camp. After this I felt a calmness and .... The meeting closed.
There was another camp meeting (Methodist) in two weeks. In the ..... I
kept my promise to pray. The camp meeting came and the Lord came, too,
there was a mighty outpouring of the spirit and power in every sermon
Exhortation, song and prayer. At the close of the 11 oclock sermon
Mourners were called. The altar was crowded me amongst them. I kneeled
down and it seems to me without any effort on my part, I sank in the
devine will and felt willing to rest the salvation of my soul on the
death and suffering of Christ. Although I felt no disposition to rejoice
I felt none to mourn.  I got up on my feet, looked around on the
congregation, and the morners and there were many and I thought it was
the loveliest sight I ever saw. I felt I could have hugged them all. It
never hardly entered my head I got what is termed religion and not until
sweet prayers did obtain th evidence that God's spirit bore witness with
my spirit that my sins were pardoned. I had peace with God through our
Lord Jesus Christ. The next day my wife profess she had left Maria, then
six months old, asleep under the bed in one of the camps and had left
the stand and crawled under the bed to suckle her and while the baby was
sucking she submitted to give her heart to God and rolled out rejoicing,
leaving the child behind. Cato our negro man professed before the
meeting closed. 1828, the year of conviction, 1798 the year I was born
and year that I shall die (which is not far ahead perhaps) will be the
only years worth remembering in my history.

The meeting closed with more than 100 professions.  My wife had been
reared a Methodist. We went home rejoicing like the children of Israel
when they crossed the red sea and thought our enemies conquered not
knowing the wilderness, nor the fire darts of the devil that was before
us. Immediately took up the cross and established family worship and
kept it up during my wife's lifetime.

The next morning while at prayers I shut the doors when I opened them
there stood two of my near neighbors both wicked men.  They said nothing
to me about religion nor I to them. My wicked companions gave me three
months they would look for me back. One day I ask my wife if she had
thought about joining a church. She said she had, with feelings of deep
emotions. I ask what? She said the Cumberland Presbyterian. This pleased
me. We went up to Mr L. Mooresville and was received and our names
recorded where we lived. While at this meeting our circuit court came on
Monday. I did not get there until Tuesday, but my horse suit with
Nichols was called up on Monday, the Jury find for the plantive $300
damage. I moved by my lawyer for a new trial, the old judge who was not
pleased with the verdict muttered awhile intimating that his court was
of more importance that the meeting finally granted a new trial.

I will give my reasons in brief why I became a Cumberland Presby. 1st.
for their unity and love amongst themselves this was no small matter to
young converts. 2nd. Their love and friendship to other Christians 3rd.
their pen and free communion.  thereby believing that there are other
Christians besides themselves. This spirit of love makes me think they
are God's people! 4th I believe with all my heart and love the doctrine
they preached. That Jesus Christ by the grace of God tasted death for
every man. This doctrine in my view placed the ??? high up on a lovely
throne. 5th Again free agency - if the sinner is lost the fault is his
own, God is clear. 6th The _______tion of the righteousness of Christ to
all who believe. If Adams sin can be imitated why not Christ
righteousness. Indeed this is my hope. 7th Justification by faith, alone
not Baptism, not works, then its by grace.

I now attended prayer meeting in the town of Trenton four miles. About
this time I heard a Baptist preacher by the name of James Terrel. Who
said if a preacher set his text before entering the pulpit, it was a
sure sign he was not called to preach.  I now began to feel it was my
duty and to call sinners to repentance. I thot if I had work to do I
better beat it. As half my life was nearly gone. Past 30 with a limited
education, a large family and weary. It was a hard struggle of mind, but
I concluded it was the will of God that he would provide. He has never
forsaken me, though I hever received much for preaching. Yet the Lord
has enabled me to raise and educate two large families of children and
more than once when in hard circumstances, I have seen the providences
of God. Even now though I am not able to work or preach I still believe
that he will provide. Our circuit rider Bro John McKee who was alive in
Texas ay the commence of this year (and who was called G or C old short
Jonny from the manner of his preaching influenced me to go with him on
his circuit for several days. There were persons with whom I was
acquainted, some of my old wicked comrades, I could say nothing. At last
we got out of my range way down in Dyer County near the lakes.
Congregations mostly females. I think they expected a big sermon from a
strange preacher. But as soon as Bro McKee gave way sooner than was
common I rose up by my chair and said let us pray. After the
congregation was dismissed and dinner was over I caught my horse and
said to Bro McKee goodbye - I am satisfied.

I made my way home under deep depression feeling that I was not the man
it was all a mistake about Gods calling me to preach the gospel. I tryed
to content myself and remain a private member and do all the good I
could. My brothers were not content and choose me as a ruling elder.  I
was ordained as such and generally led in their prayer meetings. About
this time a friend of mine had built a flat boat and got a load of
....and agreed to give me half, if I would bear the ballance of the
expense in getting them to market. I run them to New Orleans sold them,
they were so indeferent that I got but little after I paid off my hands
and other expenses. I didn't have enough left to bear my expense home. 
Spring Presbytery it was expected by some of the preachers that I would
be a candidate for the ministry but as the Indian said, I come up
missing. My mind was turned to another matter. There had been in the
North a great excitement on the subject of Temperance. I thought there
was a great pressing need in this there was a need in Gibson Co around
Trenton a few Cumberland and Presbyteiran brothern bet in same council
and concluded to make an effort. A day was appointed prohibiting the
sale of ardent spirits and the old Rev. Samuel Hodge was invited to
preach us a sermon. Our constitution was presented to the...
congregation at close of sermon.

Only 18 joined, half of them female, but we organized. I was appointed
president. The people began to have confidence in me. We met with great
opposition from some of the churches as well as the world. The Methodist
contended that their church itself was a temperance society. The Baptist
contended that God had made them free that they would not come into
bondage to no man or society. One of their leading members told me God
permitted the use of spirits to try his people.  We have seen the old
Col. in Trenton so full he could hardly navigate. We leave him in the
hands of a merciful God.  Even some preachers opposed the society.  But
our society became so large we had to make several smaller ones.  I
received a good Presbyterian sister whose grandson is now a Cumberland
P. preacher in Mo.  We took the stand on the grounds that dram drinking
leads to drunkness, drunkeness to poverty, degredation, misery and hell.

The year 1829 came. I had all my six children baptized by Bro James
McKee and gave them up to the Lord as his. He has taken two of them to
himself. Camp meetings came on. After much prayer and perplexity I
presented my self to the Presbytery which was held in Trenton. Ruben
Borow, (Boron) Richard Beard, Anthony Lamber, Jourdan Lamber, William
Harry Bigham, Robert Baker, William Bumpas and others were in
attendance, I was received and the text asigned me 1st Cor. 7 Chapter
30th verse. I went home fully satisfied for if such men as composed this
Presbytery believed I was called to preach it must be so. In a day or
two I went over to the camp ground about a mile and wrote my first
sermon.  The old manuscript is now before me dated Oct 13th 1829. This
sermon was read in Bro Tom Hamilton house near Shiloh in 1830. The
expression in the sermon was that God could work with or without means
was criticized, but I am yet of same opinion. On Wed. June 3, 1830 our
8th child Mary Lorena. My lease being out, I bought land in South East
of Gibson Co., Tenn. not far from Humbolt moved there in Spring of 1831.
I attended Presbytery again. They gave me another text. Matt 19 - 27th
Times became hard money scarce and Mother was then living in Tenn. She
gave me up one of her Negro to go...Bob.  I took him and Cato down to
Mississippi and hired them out a couple of years.  When I went after
them, Cato objected to coming back.  Bob meet me at Port Gibson with his
clothes and Cato with a man to buy him - He called me to one side and
said Master Billy, I am sorry to tell you for I never wanted to leave,
but I do not want to go back to Tenn. I was like one thunder struck. We
had been raised together since boys, he about one year older than
myself. I would as soon of thought of selling a brother or one of my own
children I replied in a kind of indignant feeling. Choose your master".
He had one ready.  He went and brought him up in a few minutes and
before I had time to reflect the man ask me my price. I told him $1,200.
He never returned a word pulled out the money counted it made a bill of
sale and Bob and me were off for home. I mearly record this incident
that I might make a record of one of the greatest errors of my life. 
Before I got to Grand Gulch, only eight miles away I regreted it and
greatly regreted all my life even up to the present time and shall while
I live, for in heart I was always opposed to slavery and have frequently
been called by my friends "Old Anthony Laughlin" who used to live close
to where I was raised. (A man bitterly opposed to slavery) I learned
from Bob on my way home that Catohad taken up with one of the Man's
negro girls whom he wanted for a wife. In March of 1831 I read my second
sermon which is also before me at Bolivar County seat of Hardemann on
the Natchy River. Rev. Robert Baker presided there were two other
brothers both men with families and myself who stood side by side in the
presence of God and the Presbytery and church and answered the following
questions in the affirmative. 1st Do you believe that scriptures of the
old and new testament to be the Word of God the only infallible rule of
faith, and practice - now if this word (Only) could have its due
influences on all preachers husbands and wifes would be not be debared
from communion together and doubtless there would be more love and
unity.

Do you sincerely believe and adopt the confession of faith of this
church as contained in the system of doctrine taught in the holy
scriptures? 3rd. Do you promise to study the power unity and purity of
the church that is as I understand it. All Gods people he that would
devide or offend or lead astray one of the little ones better for him if
he had a mill stone hung around his neck and be cast into the fathomless
sea.  One of the brother, Israel Perkins, who answered these questions
which me yet in the field, the other I shan't name he got tired and
turned aside.  When I got home I preached my first sermon in a school
house from John 19 4th verse.  I now greatly regret I had not preached
more sermons from just such texts. How cordially can I adopt the
language of Paul, Phil 3 - 8, Sunday when my appointment came, I spied a
Baptist sister and intelligent friend, her presence intimidated me. I
made as poor an effort ..... congregation.  I slipt out, got on my horse
and rode ten miles home without saying anything to my friends. In the
fall presbytery I, Abe Hickman (a young preacher with a family too) were
ordered to ride and preach six months on the Chinn circuit, this was
required as it was our only theoligical school. On Sat Oct 22, 1831 I
left home under several discouraging circumstances and rode some 18
miles and stayed all night at Old Father Cribbs on sunday Oct 23
preached at a meeting house Luke 24 - 46-47 verses. The day was cold
Congregation small and the sermon still smaller. Tuesday, preached at
Meridian Luke 10-42. Wed 12 miles in the rain to Mr. Cooleys. Thur 27th
rode 10 miles preached at a Baptist preachers house by the name of
Spann. This was before the new version and before the word Baptise was
hanged. 1st Cor 15th 15-20 verse. Fri rode 5 miles preached at Mr.
Guntaers: Acts 35.  Sat rode 5 miles and preached at Brothers Smith Gal
6-14. Sun five miles to a Methodist camp meeting then fifteen miles
preached in the evening in Dresden Co, seat of Weekley. Here I met an
old Methodist preacher who showed me his credentials signed by Asbury
the first Methodist Bishop in America. He was about 80 years old. I have
forgotten his name. He told me many of his experiences. He followed me
to the court house where I was to preach. I invited him, too, but he
said you are big and ugly enough to do it for yourself. I ask him to
conclude which he did in a warm and feeling exortation. When we parted
he took my hand and said "So be thou faithful unto death." I rode 10
miles on Mon. 5 miles on Tues and preached at Mr. Shaws Rom 6 - 22. Wed
rode 5 miles and preached at Mr. John Smiths Job 14-10. Rode 4 miles to
Col John D. Loves in the rain. Fri Nov 4 rode nine miles and preached at
Warricks Jer 23 Ch 28 v.? Sat 5 preached at Paris, Co seat of Henry Co.
Luke 10;42. sabbath heard the funeral of 4 children preached by Bro
Holland Methodist presiding Elder. Tue I preached at a little school
house near Buckhommony Rev 22, 16-17. Wed preached at Mt. Pleasant Luke
19-10th. Thu Nov 10, rode 8 miles preached from Luke 2:10. Fri Nov 11
rode 7 miles preached at Bro Lister 1 Peter 1-11 preached again at night
Job 14-10. Sat rode 10 miles preached at Jos Dinwidys Jer 6-10. Sunday
13 rode five miles preached in a school house near Dr. Howards Rev.
22-16-17. He ask me home with him for dinner. Dr Howard stated he had
once been an elder in C. P. Church but was now an universalist. Tues
15th rode five miles and preached at Shilo Acts 16-30-31. Mon Bro Robert
Baker was teaching school here and ask me to preach I worked to find a
subject. I was strongly tempted not to preach before this fine man but
when I professed religion, especially when I joined the Presbytery I
determined to take up my cross not by one end and drag the other, but by
the center. I picked up courage and went altho my sermon was small my
heart was large. The Good Lord helped and bro Baker prayed. We had a
good refreshing time then rode 4 miles preached John 14:6. Thur 17th
rode 7 miles preached in Huntington at the Academy Acts 16:30. Fri 18
rode 7 miles preached Luke 15:24.  Sat rode 12 miles John 14-1-3. Sunday
20th rode 7 miles preached I Peter 1 ch 20 11. Monday 9 miles Tue
preached Job 14-1-3. Wed went to Melmoresville preached at night Luke
14:18.

Thur Nov 24 rode 22 miles home. My family had been blest with health. I
had been gone over a month and rode 270 miles and preached 25 times.
This was one month of six month service. I think $1.50 was all that I
received. Preachers did not preach in those days for money, if he did he
didn't get it, not withstanding he is as much entitled to his wages as
any other workman. Yet the poor preacher must preach.

In the year 1832 if I recollect was the shooting of the meteors or as
was called the bottom of the stars. People were very much alarmed and
thought it was the last day. Robertus, my son then about 14 had went out
for wood for the fire and said he saw it and thought all the stars were
fallen. On Thur Mar 22 our 4th son and 9th child was born in 1832. I had
just heard of the death of my sister Polly's husband Thos. Shelby.  We
named our son Thomas Shelby Love. There were many members added to
churches especially the Baptist. They were wanting a pastor on
Rutherford fork. Robert Hurt of Virginia and ____were called to preach
their faith before the church in order that a choice might be made.
_____preached first and set forth his doctrine (Calvinist) and remarked
that many of these wicked people were Gods' dear children and in due
time, they would be gathered to the fold. He sat down. Hurt lifted his
hands and exclaimed - "good heavens! What a sheep with wolfs skin on,
and a wolfs' heart too. This may do for a Tennesse but it never would do
for a Virginia sheep". The church selected the Disstiller.

The year 33 entered with a great scurge of the Asian Chollera that
carried thousands to their grave. Brother Cullin G. Cribbs a good humble
Christian preacher and myself built a flat boat on the Olive river near
Christmusville and loaded it with corn for the lower market. Stopped at
Warrington ten miles below Vicksburg and retailed it out by the tub and
sold all the wide planks of our boat (except those which we resurrected
for ourselves) to make coffins for those that died with the Chollera.
The carpenter told me he made $50 a day, the lower down the worse. We
stayed in our boat and kept out of town.  We lived temporially on
cornbread bacon and coffee. When we sold out we......and his skift to
take us to Vicksburg.  All the people along the bank told us not to go
as all the town was dying. What else could we do it was death to stay
here and like the lepers of Samaria it could only be death there.

We went on and looked every hour to see our old skipper man take the
disease as it is fond of the drunkard. When we got to Vicksburg we paid
him off. We took a room closed all our windows next to town and kept
them open toward the river. We had to remain two days and nights before
we got passage. We felt resigned to the will of our Heavenly Father. 
When we got home safely our wives and children were well.

I bought a few horses and took them by land to Mississippi. Traveled
through the Indian nation called on two of my relations, half breeds by
the name of Love, Henry and Slone, they treated me friendly as other
travellers, but did not care to claim kin as the Indians only claim kin
by the Mother's side. I learned that a good many years ago a man by the
name of James Love and from what I could learn a cousin to my Father was
returning home through the nation and a company of Choctowas came across
him, robbed him and took his horse. He wandered on into the Chickisaws
was taken sick and lay sometime and when he got well he took a young
squaw to wife and remained in the Nation.  Henry had married a white
woman and his children look as well as common children with the
exception of the one who has an Indian Eye. Slone Love had a full blood
Indian to wife and looked very Indianfied himself. I called also at what
was called the station, where there was once a school. The mans name was
Smith. Him and all his family was Presbyterians, he was the manager
while the school was in operation, one of his daughter-in-laws was a
half breed. I heard them singin hymns and songs in Indian. He had prayer
at night. I met with a man in the Nation who wanted to buy a horse. He
like one I had a big fine gray. In examining he saw a scar on the
foreleg and ask me what did it. I told him the truth that it was done by
a rope or halter. He replied: "Not so, he has had his leg broke" I
turned away and left him and felt deeply humbled to think what sin had
brought us too. That one man could not believe another.  I sold my horse
in Miss. for a small gain and reserved one to ride back. It was with
some difficulty that a traveler could get to stay all night. The
Chollera had greatly increased. I had fallen in company with two horse
traders who like myself were returning home. We called for the night at
Slone Loves and in a little while three more men and a little negro boy
came from the same direction and just after dark a company of ... five
men with a drove of horses for below called us to stay all night. Love
gave us...little cabins in which there were but two beds. It had been
raining and the little negro boy had become chilled and they had poured
a quanity of spirits and wrapped them in their blankets by the fire. 
Slone Love came to me and whispered as there was two beds I had better
secure one (this was all the difference he made between me and the
others). I took him at his word and went to bed soon I heard it
whispered that if the boy began to vomit it was Chollera. sure enough
they had not much more than spread their blankets they jumped and
hollowed Chollera! Chollera! and gathered their baggage and cut out like
quarter horses in the rain some going into the cabin with Slone and his
family scared almost to death. Thinks I: it was raining.  I was
comfortable. I concluded to lie still until morning in the morning the
little Negro boy was able to go it was nothing but the whiskey and warm
fire.  I went on a few nights then stopped at Smiths the old station
where I heard the Indian songs. My knees began hurting. it felt like a
thousand pins jagging them. I became alarmed. I got up and walked out
into the lane in deep thought away from home. Among strangers and
several hundred dollars with me that my family could not well live
without. I never had such a trial before. I was fearful I might fall
dead as many did. After composing my mind and committing myself to the
divine being of mercy of God, I untied my handkerchief pocket book and
money from around my and stuck it in my vest pocket where it could be
seen hoping by some means my family would get it. I went back to the
house.  I asked Mr. Smith to excuse me from sitting up for worship as I
was unwell. Before I went to bed I ask for warm water to bath my feet.
In the morning I felt as well as usual. Stopped at Melenporesville for
Presbytery preached my trial sermon. I was ordained or set apart for the
whole work of the ministry. this was in the fall of 1834. Our 10th and
last child was born Oct 13, 1834, named Honor Emeline Sophronia Love.
Brother Cribles and I two more flat boats and took produce down to
Vicksburg.  I went on to Miss. moved down to Randolph and bout land and
settled within two miles of town this was spring 1835. My wife's Mother,
brother Bowen and sister Polly Bolton lived near. Her brother died and
was buried in three miles of Randolph also her niece Delphina Williams
that we raised lived near. I had no regular appointment. The churches of
Tenn had not adopted the wise policy of pastorates. the churches were
for the most part kept up by the itinerarys. I attended and labored as
there was much to be done. I went up into McNairy Co. when the ground
and tent was literally covered with men and women praying and crying for
mercy. Never have I seen more display of Gods Almighty power. The good
done will never be known until Judgement day.

I also attended another camp meeting in South East part of Typton Co. I
took communion to a sick man after consulting with Ruben Burrow, He
seemed greatly comforted. He ask me to explain Heb 9:28th. The same
views I had then I do yet. 1st the coming of Christ as a babe in the
manager is for the express purpose of being made a sacrifice for sin not
that he was sinful in any respect for he was pure holy, and undefiled.
2nd his second coming would (be) different in every respect from his 1st
coming. (except that of purity) the object of his second coming will be
unto complete salvation (of all that have received and obeyed him) of
both soul and body. The resurrection of all his people not of a few to
reign with the while the rest were in their graves, but all, every
saint, The doctrine that Christ second coming will be to reign on earth
personally for a thousand years, in my view is not in the Bible, but at
his second coming he will come on his great White Throne to Judge the
world.

One young man in his 21st year stalked around the camp meeting trying to
cause trouble. He sickened and ask his good parents to get neighbors to
drive out the demons. I was there and tried to comfort them. Now I
thought if angels stand round the bed of the good man to escort his soul
to Paradise as in the case of Lazarus why should we not suppose (as he
expressed it) full of demons.  I will close this chapter with the
melancholy recital of the death of my wife.  The Hopewell Presbytery
that had embraced all the Western district of Tenn was divided and three
was formed. I fell into the bounds of Natchy Presby.  We had an old
preacher and a big one two. (I shall name him not) through necessity no
doubt got to selling spirits to support his family in the town of
Memphis. It was no city then. When Preby came I was appointed with
others to draft rules for the government of the Preby. We made a rule
that if there were any members intending to leave before the business
was finished that they forewith ask before the business commenced. This
old brother knew we would prefer charges, so he ask for a letter of
dismission. He assigned three reasons 1st Our church was rapidly
approaching Old Presbyterism. 2nd There was a set of gentry amongst the
preachers that were free Masons and that they leagued together and put
up one of their own party to preach all the popular hours.  3rd That he
was engaged in traffic that was offensive to his brothern. We reported.
He got on his horse and rode home.  Presbytery drew up charges for his
trial and gave him due notice we met in Raleigh. He attended, the
Charges were read, he objected to our Jurisdiction saying we had not
taken steps as laid down in the dicipline. He objected that some of the
members were free Masons. We could not have a quorum and exclude them.
We adjourned to another time and place. He moved to Ky. Then moved to
Ark. He quit his nefarious practice.  The last I heard from the old
brother he was fighting ??? many against sin. I can't but blame the
Church some for not contributing more to his family’s support.

I come now to note down the greatest conflict and trial of my life that
ever came up in my history. The Death of my wife which occurred on the
14th of August 1836. She had been remarkably blest with good health all
her life looked young and fresh until about two weeks before she died.
We were both taken sick about 1st of August a doctor was called in and I
mended every day and she got worse until the evening of the day noted
above. She closed her eyes in perfect peace with out a fear of much of a
struggle. I buried her three miles E'st of Randolph on the south side
and close to her Brother Bowen Tison who died a few years before. And
her mother a few years after was laid to the North side of her brother
and I greatly regret that I have never had a stone placed at her head,
but should any of her children ever want to visit her grave it may be
found by the headstone of her brother. And now I do hope and trust that
my present and last children will not suppose that I think any the less
of them by saying that she was a good wife, and industrious and pious
woman not a boistrous and noisy Christian. I never heard her shout but
once and that was at home, in bed, when she was talking about our hope
in glory and our home in heaven, her death was briefly announced in our
paper then published at Nashville and after her obituary a verse of one
of her favorite songs.

No that stream has nothing fearful to its brink my steps I Bend There to
plunge will be delightful Then my pilgrimage will end.

She was the youngest of seven children and the first, save one, called
to her eternal home. Since her death, all the family have died and five
of her own children and one before leaving now only four alive and of
the six that are dead two of them died in infancy and three professing a
good hope. the other our third son Alfred wondered off to California in
the year of 1848. I have heard nothing from him since - - That was now
my condition left with 9 small children my eldest a boy my youngest a
daughter not two. My oldest daughter 14. The good Lord whom I was trying
to serve comforted my heart. I committed myself and mine into his hands.
He lead me by the right was as he did the children of Israel. I now
believe with all my heart he will lead me to a city of habitation Psalm
107 - 7th. I will close this chapter.

I propose writing another if I live as but little over half my days are
included. The next will not be so solemn but far more interesting at
least so to myself for it will embrace almost all my labors in the
ministry and perhaps some notes or heads of the discourse that was the
sweeter to my own soul while preaching.

July 14, 1868

In the close of my remarks in the first chapter of life I state that I
had been left with nine small children. What shall I do. I have a Mother
living in Kentucky that would be company to my children in my absence,
shall I get a family to live with me or look for a step mother. After
deep thought and prayer the 1st consideration was adopted. I moved to Ky
in the fall of 1836. I had a sale and sold out. bought land that winter
and in the spring of 1837 moved by water to Ky.  In the first part of
the winter before I moved corn and pork was in demand at Randolph. I
concluded to go to Vincenes on the Wabash, Indiana and buy me a boat and
bring down a Load. I went by water to Evansville and there took the
stage to Princeton on White River. There was a tall good looking lady
came aboard by the name of Eliza Hall. in passing through the rough
bottom of White River some of the passengers got out to walk. I didn't
Eliza Hall didn't. She ask me wher I was from. I told her Randolph on
the Miss. R. Oh she says, I reckon that place was named after my old
relative. I told her it was called after Old John of Ronnoke. Then I
said I perceive you are related to Pocahontas. I am, sir. This caused
considerable conversation. We arrived at Vinceins near sunset. I
register my name, place and residence and my business and buy a boat.  I
went to hear a good lecture on Philosopny and Astronomy that night - I
liked his explanation of the moon standing still at the command of
Joshua. I returned to the brick travern - as a drunk came staggering out
and fell into an open celler.

Being among strangers I concluded to not meddle. I went in the house and
took a seat. I began to feel bad, for a state of indecision with me was
always a state of perplexity. I was very relieved in my mind by a
staggering man coming in wanting more whiskey to hear the bar keeper
remark. "I have put you out once tonight". I learned there was no boat
closer than Harmony, 20 miles below. I gave $5 for an Indian Canoe and
put my leather trunk in it and after breakfast started down the Wabash.
There was no houses on the bank, and open prairie on the left and dense
forest on the right. I paddled like a galley slave at the oar and when I
ceased the wind would drive me up stream. sweat ran down my face in
torrents and setting cramped my feet were almost frozen. at every bend
and turn in the river I listened for "hail" give me your money or the
crack of a rifle.  Let it be remembered by me and my children in holy
praise to God that I was preserved. If I had been killed heaven would
now be deprived of 3 songsters with golden harps and earth of four lives
that may be useful to their fellowmen and if it is thy will may they
secure seats of immortality in paradise above. I came to a Frenchmans
house - he told me I had come ten miles. Hard work. I told the man that
if he would take me back to Vincinnes that I would give him $5 and the
canoe. Fearing the prospect of the Ohio blocking up with ice, We ??? a
couple of horses and I took my little leather trunk and we made it back
to Vincines in time for me to register my name in the stage Book.

At 3 oclock in the morning the stage started crowded to overflowing. 
One tall man said when morning comes reckon we will all know our own
feet. There were two Ladies from Evansville aboard. I came to Fords old
ferry and went from there to old Piney campground and purchased Jacob B.
Crider farm half mile East of the camp ground then returned to Randolph
and moved my family by steamboat early in the spring of 1837. When Greek
meets Greek Here comes the tug of War. For here in the Princeton Prsby I
may truly say my labor in the Ministry commensed. I attended Spring
Preb. at Old Salem at the falls at Midway fourth of a mile East of
Fredonia and two miles of where I now live.  I became a member 31 years
ago. where doubtess I shall lay down my Armor. I found it composed of
only 4 members Richard Beard who has for many years gone back To Tenn.
John Barnett, James Johnson, Wm T. Hutchison. Dr. Casett lives in
Princeton.

Difficulties between him and John Barnett prevented him from being a
member. Though never large we have licenced and ordained more ministers
than any other Preby in the bounds of Green River Synod. I found Piney
Fork and Bethlehem Churches both without pastors and only preaching
occassionly except at camp meeting times and these held under trees. 
Bethlehem had a log church that I had helped to build in 1815 when I was
a boy. Piney Fork had as good as none neither of them was paying a
dollar for preaching - would have remained so to this day had the same
policy been persued in not teaching them that it was their duty to
support the gospel. I accepted the call to both these churches without
my stipulated salary. This was the first regular installation in
Princeton Preby. Before there had been supplies. Piney Fork was
organized, I think in 1810 and Bethlehem in 1814.  I commenced my labors
in good earnest and I must remark that it is not the big preaching that
builds and keeps up churches, but the regular and stated meetings where
the blessing of heaven are more to be depended upon that the most
eloquent preaching.  In fall 38 I went to Synod in Elkton, Todd Co. The
next Preby meet at Piney Fork was not a quorum you must understand that
in our we availed ourselves of an old order of synod which is the
highest judicary in our church so when ajourned until next day when we
had a quorum then we did considerably business - I felt as much
concerned that our synodical minutes be approved as I did our Presby
minutes.  I would frequently urge churches to build shades to hold camp
meetings under for I have ever been in favor and truly sorry to see them
dying out in our church for as a church we spring from Camp meetings
like the saying of an Old English Lord if you want to ??? man to believe
something then tell him everyday.

They consented and I went to work and built a church at each place.
there was some opposition especially at Piney fork. one old brother said
to me our Fathers worshiped under these trees why can't we? Even Old Bro
John Barnett pleaded for a big sugar tree in respect to his wish we put
the shade on one side and I believe the old sugar tree is standing at
Piney Fork yet.

After I had been a widower two years save 22 days, I married again. I
was well pleased with the moral training my children were getting from
my mother, but she was getting old, but I wanted them taught to work and
correctly guided in choosing a suitable companion. I visited a young
widow in Tipton Co Tenn.  We had lived neighbors during our companions
time. I thought well of her and ask her if who would like to live in Ky.
She answered very well, that night I dreamed of falling into a quagmire
and after great exertion I got out and never returned to see her anymore
Excel 5th 7th. In the Multitude of dreams there are divers vanities.
Gen. 23,28. Dreams from page 151, 152, 153. but to return I cast about
in my mind for a suitable companion my present wife Catherine Smith was
selected. her father Joshua R. Smith and myself had lived near neighbors
South East of Trenton Tenn for several years. The family was baptist and
two of her brothers were preachers, yet she had always stood high in my
estimation. (Baptist then differed very much from what they do now,
since they have concluded to print themselves a new Bible.) I made suit
and was successful. We were married the 5th day of July 1838.  I was 40
She 28. She was born April 10 - 1810, in ...Co Tenn.  In her 15th year
her father moved to Trenton. Her father was born and raised in N.C. He
died in 1834 in his 55th year. Her mothers name was Abigail Pearce born
in No. C. and raised in Tenn. and she died two years after we were
married. My wife had 7 brothers and sisters. William, Hugh, Jamima,
Rachel Thomas, Ira, Abner, Joshua, Elizabeth Jones and Abigail. William
and Hugh were ministers. Hugh I dearly loved. I never knew William. I
brought my wife home in July. I built my mother a house in the yard and
made her full mistress of it. Several years before I married a second
time a very particular friend of mine with whom I had served on the
Justice bench, wife had died leaving him with 3 small children. after a
proper time he concluded to get him another wife and knowing my
acquaintance was large, came to me for counsel. I recommended Miss Kate
Smith. he objected saying she was too young. he wanted no more children
to raise. When I married her several years later his objections never
crossed my path. The promise in that short but sweet little Psalm 128
have been fully verified, my wives have been fruitful. I have enjoyed as
well as eaten the labors of my own hands. My children 17 in number have
been like olive plants around my table. I bless the good Lord I have a
comfortble hope that eight of them are now singing the song of Moses and
the lamb. Rev.15 - 3rd. I must say that without doubt its a great sin to
murmmer and complain about having so many children and still a greater
sin to use any kind of means whatever to prevent it. The great objection
is poverty. my children will be poor in my opinion in nine cases out of
ten proverty is a less evil than riches Prov 30th 8th. Prov 23 4th. all
of us at home now are hearty well and enjoying much happiness as falls
to families on earth.

Campmeeting at Piney Fork in August Many conversions.  Also a good
campmeeting at Bethlehem in July.  Many Joined the Church.  In Oct. I
took my wife to Illinois to see her relations. She had several uncles,
aunts and cousins by the name of Pearce, Trousday. We attended a village
campmeeting where more than 50 on the ground were blood relatives. Her
Uncle Jessie, cousins Moses Pearce and two of her Trousdale cousins
Cumberland Presbyterian preachers. I preached every day the Lord helping
me. I considered this one of the oasis of my life. We returned home and
I tauught school through the winter.  Also keeping up my appoinments at
Piney Fork and Bethlehem. Wed Apr 10, 1839 our first child was born we
named him Newton Monroe. Usual Campmeetings in summer 40 conversions at
Piney Fork. I will here state that on 24 of June the Anniversary of St.
John the Baptist was celebrated by the Masonic Fraternity at Princeton. 
I was invited to preach the sermon. I selected for my text Ezech 4, 7th.
we presented this building on a three fold point of view 1st literally,
2nd, Masonicly, 3rd Spiritually. Using first material and preparation
2nd the workman, 3rd great rejoicing at completion or laying of corner
or head stone.  The brothern gave me $10. In 1842 I preached again for
them from Prov. 4 7th the Master of the Lodge was a Methodist. He gave
me $5.  He later became a universalist preacher. Returning home from
Synod, about 1/2 way between Princeton and Hopkinsville I attended a
Baptist meeting and heard an old neighbor Bro......when I lived near
Princeton some 25 years before. He preached the strongest kind of
predestinarianism. I mention this because, later he became a
universalist. There is a short step.  One believes that all will be
saved for whom christ died and the other believes that Christ died for
all. One believes Christ died for a larger number than the other. You
make your own decision on the light received.

I attended campmeeting at Rose Creek in Hopkins Co. A storm came up
while I was preaching and put out the lights while they were lighting up
I sang "The Midnight Cry" A song I brought from Tenn. It was new to
these people. One man remarked it was the most solemn hour he had ever
passed. We had a good nights meeting. I attended camp meeting the next
year. The Eldership under took to govern. they met and made arrangement
to postpone sacrament until Monday and occupy the Sabbeth in preaching,
while the great crowd was out. There was two sermons one of the Elders
came to me and said the congregation was waiting. I ask for what. He
said for me to preach. He seemed mortified that no one had told me. I
told him I was not a minute man. I could not preach (this was the only
time I remember that I ever rebelled). He got Bro Tom McCormich who was
called the weeping prophet. He took his text Isa. 50th 11th and soon
began crying. by the time he was done half the congregation was at the
fires for it was the fall season of the year 1839...I was employed by
Rev. Joseph Killpartick to pilot his flat boat down the river with his
family and son-in-law Jas Black and Henry Walkers family on their way to
Texas.

I took my wife and our very young son Newton with me as far as what was
called at that time Hails Point at the mouth of the Ohio and sent them
out to see her mother who lived near Key corner some 20 miles from the
river. We all started from Flings old Ferry late in the evening and
landed and lay all night at the Cave in Rock, this is a great curiosity
in nature and has been visited by tens of thousands of people and was
once the hiding place of old mason and his gang of counterfieters.  We
had a fine trip. The old Brother would not suffer me to run at night. We
had prayer every night. James Black would get his fiddle and play
spiritual songs. This was another green place in the desert of my life.
Bro Killpatrick was a good old Methodist preacher. His family of
children later returned to this part of the country.  The trip from our
visit to Tenn at my wifes mother passed sweetly away. Campmeeting and
Churches at Bethlehem and Piney Fork.

On the 27th of Aug 1840 my little daughter Emeline Saphronia my first
wife’s youngest child died. She was nearly six. I was sitting by her bed
she called Ann a negro girl that waited upon her. In a few minuts she
quietly fell asleep in the arms of the Lord. While I am waiting and for
the last 30 years nearly she has been praising her savior in glory.  I
buried her at Piney Fork alone from any of her relatives, and not at
this time she is surrounded by more than a dozen and among them is her
old grandmother...on her South two half brothers and one half sister and
still a little further...in all probability, in a short time will rest
her aged Father. ?? What joy in the resurrection.

I worked the crop and in the fall and winter taught school as the
churches were giving me very little for preaching.  My wife and I again
visited friends and relatives at old village camp-meeting in Illinois. I
also attended in subsequent years three other camp meetings in that
state, one on the north Saline, one on Eagle creek and one near Marion.
I also attended two camp metings at Pisgah between the Cumberland and
the Tenn River, not far from Holloway College. They were union meetings
of the Methodist and Cumberland Presbyterians. There were many
confessions, at the close of the meetings the doors of both Churches
were opened. two benches were designated, one on right for C.P. and the
left for Methodist and the young converts were invited while a song was
sung to make their choice. Most sat on the Presby. But I would have been
truly gratified had there been an equal division in my heart I felt how
pleasant it was for all brothern to dwell together in unity. I preached
one evening from Eze, Vision of the dry bones. a young man who was later
licened and ordained for Presby Ministry James H. Nichel told me the
first impression he ever had to seek religion was from that sermon
saying he thought he could see bones crawling all over the valley. he
made his mark high in life and died some years back in Salem, Ill,
greatly lamented.

On Wed. the 11 March 1840 we were again blessed by the birth of our
daughter Eudoria Melvina. The years 1841 and 1842 passed sweetly and
rapidly away. I began urging the churches to build houses of worship.
Haggia When the Lord complained that the people dwell in houses while
his house lay waste. Piney Fork turned out and cut and hewed logs and
built them a very comfortable house. Its true it was nothing in
comparision to their present fine brick Church yet it was a great
improvement to their old log house. Bethlehem also a few years after
built them a find brick eddifice. On the 27th of Aug 1842 our third
child Finis Ewing Love was born. This was the last year that I camped at
Piney Fork. I moved up and lived two years near Bethlehem. I had been a
regular camper for six years, and all our meetings had been blessed. we
had from 15 to 30 conversions a year. I thought I was the most happy one
amongst Gods people.  In 1843 I taught school at Bethlehem. My sister
Polly from Mississippi was up for a visit and her last one. I had the
unspeakable pleasure on sabbeth at Piney Campmeeting of seeing her, and
my mother and two other sisters and myself all at the Lords table. The
first and last time we all communed. together and the only time that I
ever heard my good old mother shout. This was another oasis in my life.
It was also the, in this moral wilderness, the last communion in which
my Mother participated. She died on the 2nd day of Mar 1844 in her 79th
year. Aug 29, 1846 my sister Polly died in Miss in her 57th year. The
18th of Nov on Mon 1844 our 4th child was born Laura Nadenia. The Piney
Fork church was paying me so little $50 a year and sometimes not that
much that it seemed to me I was necessaryly compelled to quit them and
look our elsewhere for a support. Bro Groves, Will Rowland and myself
held a protracted meeting on Clarke river between where Birmanham is
now, located at old Wadsborough. We had interesting meeting and
considerable number of professions. A time and place on one of the
tributaries of Clarks river was appointed for Baptism (several of them
wished to be immersed) after all things were made ready and I had
explained the nature and design of the Christian Babtism, I commenced on
top of the bank and baptised some parents and children by sprinklying. I
then stepped down the bank and Baptised one brother that was kneeling in
the water, by dipping up water in my hands and pouring it on him.  I
then led several, one by one into deeper water and baptised them by
immersion. There was one large sister perhaps weighing 250 lbs. I
reserved for the last she was very fearful that I would be be able to
raise her up, as I put her under the water she wrenched her hands from
mine and grasp me by my left arm, as I raised her up I discovered her
left arm had not been under and knowing the intense wishes of those that
chose this mode of Baptism I soused her back again and held her under
till the wave returned and wet her all over. It was a great sight to the
people to see three modes of Baptism and all at the same time.

We are not ignorant, of the censure heaped upon us for thus acting. But
we are conscientious and always permitted believers to choose their own
mode as there is no mode that constitutes baptism, but the use of water
(be it much or little) by an ordained minister in the name of the Holy
Trinity. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost. While I am on the waters of
Clarks River I will narrate an incident that occurred Apr. 1823 45 years
ago. I do this to show the power of gratitude. I was living in Tenn. I
had been out to Ky and was returning home with my wifes mother and
stopped for the night at my brother-in-law’s, Robert Asher, on the state
line. it rained nearly all night, the waters were high and there being
but few bridges I was compelled to lay over a day. In the meantime Hiram
Perkins wedding came ??? and he and his family urged me to accompany
them to the wedding. He was raised close by me in Ky. I had served under
his brother-in-law Capt. John C. Dodds at New Orleans and who was one of
the company as I was then sowing my wild oats by the double handfull. I
accepted the invitation and went. It was some 12 miles there was some 6
or 7 of us (no ladies when we got there, that is in sight. Clarks River
was between us and its banks all overflowing more than 100 yards wide.
Hiram's friends wanted him to hollow over and put the wedding off - but
to this he was unwilling. He proposed to me if I would go foremost he
would follow me and we would swim our horses over, this pleased me for I
was fond of just such sport. We started. We had some ten or 15 steps to
wade before swimming water. He was behind, close after me. The current
of the stream was on the side we were when my horse launched in swimming
water.  he struck the current and it washed him on his side. this scared
Hiram and he checked up before he got into swimming water. I gave my
horse the bridle and he righted up and carried me across. Hiram turned
back to dry land. the crowd from the brides home came down to the river
and we made a raft and a man by the name of McKinney got on it with me
and we started over. as soon as the raft struck the current, it
capsized. we swam out on the side where the groom and his company was.
He was still unwilling to put off the wedding. we tied all his clothes
around his neck, save his shirt and drawers and started him over on his
horse giving him particular directions how to manage his horse for he
himself could not swim a lick. No sooner did his horse strike the
current, like my horse had done he drifted on his side. Hiram became
alarmed and pulled the bridle and sank the horse and himself too.  when
they rose they were several feet apart. Hiram commenced crying for help
- no one moved. his two brothers-in-law stood speechless. I was aware of
the great danger approaching a drowning man, but I could not bear to
stand still and see him drowned and make no effort to save his life. I
jumped in and swam up behind him just as he was going down the second
time and took a fast grip on his right arm with my left and shoved him
before me at arms length so as he could not take hold of me. McKinney
seeing that I had him safe came to my help and we brought him to shore.
He was badly stunned that he had to be helped and as soon as he got his
breath he called out, "O my dear Lizzy. I shall see her yet."

By cutting down large trees from both sides and lapping them all got
over safe.  by the time it was dark the marriage was solemnized and then
the bride learned the history of the day she felt so grateful that she
could hardly keep her eyes off me. Her name was Elizabeth Rowland. In
the morning I persued my journey home. many years passed and one day I
was walking a street in Vicksburg. I saw a man standing on a porch. He
called out, Is not your name Love? I said it was.  He jumped at me with
both arms open. It was all I could do to keep him from hugging me in the
open street. "I am Hiram Perkins" said he, the man whose life you saved
from drowning on his wedding day. Of Gratitude how admirable thou art,
and how low and mean is the breast that never feels this emotion. It is
based and vile not to feel grateful to fellow Beings. Then how much more
so not to feel gratitude to our great benefactor. The gratitude of the
bride on the night of the wedding made me feel big. I had saved a life,
but in the streets of Vicksburg I felt humble. I feel so greatful to my
deliverer for special Providency not only in saving my temporal life,
but in giving me eternal with its joys and bidding me to live forever.

This same Hiram Perkins, grand Uncle to Esq Bard's children of Fredonia,
killed a man and fled to Miss and raised a large family. some years back
one of his children was killed by another. how deep and mysterious the
ways of Providence. I was made the instrument in saving life and that
same life was permitted to take another, then fell himself in the
varification of that truth.  He that sheddeth mans blood by man shall
his blood be shed. After my pastorial relation between Piney Fork church
and myself was dissolved by mutual consent, I still continued to preach
at Bethlehem and at old Livingston meeting house one mile from where I
now live. It then belonged to the old Presbyterian and where they held
campmeetings. I preached monthly for some two years at Union Point about
halfway between Salem and Smithland and at Hopewell some five or six
miles from Salem near the road to Golcandy, here we had 3 good camp
meetings on Cypress Creek in Union County some 4 miles of Caseyville.
Many professions. On 18th of Oct 1845 I organized the Fredonia and
preached 14 years in succession. For which I was paid an average of $60
per year. In 1846 I moved and settled where I now live about two miles
of Fredonia.  I received so little pay, it was necessary for me to turn
my attention to something else.

I built several flat boats, loaded them with produce and run them down
to the lower country. For several years I shipped tobacco on steam boats
to New Orleans for my neighbors and friends and brought back money and
groceries. On these trips I was absent from six to eight weeks, but it
was in that portion of the year when the least good could be
accomplished at preaching. The Bethlehem church or at lease some of its
members desiring a change in 1844. If I recollect right one sent the
name of a preacher a vote of the church was taken.  I was still retained
by a large majority. In the year of 1845 they brought forward another
preacher out of the ??? at Princeton college. a vote was taken with the
majority gain for me. I preached on until the year 1846 when they
changed their tacticks instead of running a preacher by name and calling
the church together , 2 of them rode around and took the vote. I was run
against nobody and yet I was run against everybody. There was a small
majority for a change. I respected their wish. On the 31 of Dec 1846 our
third son and fifth child was born John Quincy Love. Not far from this
time I organized Sugar Grove Church Crittenden County six miles North of
Piney Fork and preached to them once a month for several years and held
several camp meetings that were greatly blessed.

Our little vine planted at Fredonia continued to grow and bear fruit,
ther Presbyterian church united with us and we built a log meeting house
and both churches continued to worship in it for several years until it
was thought advisable to build a larger and better one.  A meeting was
called and those who felt any interest invited to come.  I stated the
object and requested all present to give their views freely. 1st whether
we should build 2nd what kind of material 3rd whether union or free or
denominational. The first two questions were settled. We would build of
brick. Then there was a profound silence.  Bro James Dutt, a young
member of our church rose up and proposed it become a Cumberland
Presbyterian free for other denominations to use when not used by
ourselves. There being no other proposition I took the vote and it
carried. We built the house and gave it to our Presbyterian Brothern the
2nd sabbath and week following to the Methodist brethern, the 4th
sabbeth and week after reserving the 1st and 3rd for ourselves. we have
been harmonious up to present time with small exception of Mr. Joseph
Templeton who preached man was a moral agent but the doctrine of
election, the sovernity and fore knowledge of God was so misterious that
in this dark world no man could reconcile them and bring them together.

At one of my appointments later I tried to reconcile them and I have the
vanity to believe I done it satisfactory to 8/10 of my congregation. I
spread the Bible open before me on the stand, the new testament on my
right and the old on my left. I propose to open in one of these
testaments I do not know which for I have not chosen, but God knows and
it will be precisely as he sees, but his fore knowledge is not an act,
but a perfection and has no power over my will. he has given me the
power to choose and it lies at my option. Suppose I choose and open in
the old Testament this is the very book that he foresaw I would open
from all Eternity and so in reference to the new testament. If I should
change my mind and shut up the Bible and open in neither that would also
be precisly what he foresaid. Just so in reference to man the great
Creator foresees the way, the place, the time. Every one will be born
and the day and manner of his death will be a certainty as he forsees.
The man that was born in Kentucky, if his parents had moved to Ill. he
would have been born there as God would forsaw. Even so in reference to
the sinner, now withstanding God foresees that certain persons will be
lost forever, but yet at the same time he sees that they might have been
saved by repentance and faith and the fault is their own. God will
remain Just and holy when he pronounces the sentence of death upon them.
The case of David in Kielah Sam 23-10th and 13th. Paul in the ship Acts
27-21-31st are to the point and if David had not left Keilah Saul would
have went down and if the shipmen in Paul's case had left the ship all
would have been.

After resigning my pastorial charge of Bethlehem and indeed while
preaching at Piney Fork, I saw the error that I had committed in
accepting the charge without sufficient compensation to loose my hands
from the work so as to have time to discharge my duties of a pastor in
full which are many and varied, filling the pulpit and preaching is only
a part. From that time on I have only been preaching as supply from year
to year.  I was called back again to Old Piney Fork at Providence not
far from Eddyville, at Mt Pisgah near Birmingham and also at Union Point
halfway between old Salem and Smithland and at Hopewell 5 miles west of
Salem.

In the year 1860 or 61 I organized the new Salem church some three miles
East of old Salem town and preached there nearly three years. One Sat.
and Sabbeth in each month. On Sat the 26 Jan 1850 our 6th child and 3rd
daughter Nancy Catherine was born and on Tues Dec 14 1852 Josephine
Jamiah our 7th and last child was born. Now while I am recording what
the Lord has given us, as parents I must also record what he has
recalled. I can truly adopt the language of good old Job. The Lord
givith and the Lord taketh away. Blessed by the name of the Lord Job 1 -
21. June 19, 1856 at 12:30 P.M. the Lord took our second son in his 14th
year. Finis Ewing Love.  He was a good child and loved his savior. I
heard him singing a short time before his death "I want to be an angel".
 Our little son John Quincy Love died Sep 1856 in his 10th year. As our
blessed Savior while on Earth blessed children and said Such is the
Kingdom. I have the blessed hope I shall meet my dear little sones. As
the Lord had been liberal in giving it seems like he now called for a
liberal ???. For our daughter Laura Mandenia Love in her 15 year left us
on Sun Feb 13, 1859 at 2. P.M. She was a member of Fredonia church - she
had a bright hope of heaven and reconciled to the call of her Heavenly
Father.

Oh how hard is it to part from loved ones. I had looked forward when
those two little sons would cheer me up in my old age and close my eyes
when I died but my heavenly Father is good and wise and knows what is
best and says in words that can not be misunderstood John 13; 7th "What
I do thou knowest not now, but thou shall know here after and when I
look back to the wicked war that has just closed and to the dark future
of our once happy country I can almost realize that the word here after
has at least in part come.

My oldst son that is now with us had Judgment and prudence enough to
keep out of the war but those above named would just been old enough and
not having the prudence of their brother may have run headlong into the
strife and what the issues would have been no finite being could tell,
this is not all but doubtless in the great day of the final reconing it
will be seen and known that God in Mercy and goodness took them from the
Evil to come.

I attended our general assembly as commissioner at Lebenon, Ohio and
also at Lebanon, Tenn. I was also a commissioner once in Princeton. I
was also at the assembly held at Nashville and one or two others as a
spectator. As it regards our Synodical meetings, I made it a point ever
to attend them as it regards our Prebyterians. I ever felt it to be my
duty to be there and perhaps I have attended more than fifty meetings of
the Princeton Presbyterian. I continue to preach at those churches named
some six or 12 months at a time, for several years as circumstances
required (they being supplied by other Preachers when not by me) up till
the war commenced. I above already stated on page 182 that on the 18th
of Oct 1845 I organized the Fredonia Congregation and supplied with
preaching twice a month for 14 years and up to the year 1859 during this
time there was a gradual increase in its membership and after consulting
with brothern on the subject of a change we all came to the conclusion
that as I had preached there so long perhaps it would be better for the
church to get a new preacher. I cordially give way. Wondering at the
same time how they put up with me so long.  Its true they never
complained of my doctrine on the want of variety yet at the same time I
felt conscious that my manner of delivery, my gestures and my voice had
become old and common and had not the same effect that it had when I
first commenced and altho I am not in favor of changing preachers for
trivial ??? yet I am conscious that a preacher may continue his labors
with a church beyond his usefulness, that he will not be as useful as a
new preacher of same piety and intelligence. During the time of my
ministry at Fredonia I had many discouragements yet the good Lord
sustained me and frequently sent encouragements when I was all most
ready to dispair there was nothing that gave me more encouragement, than
the constant attendance of a few of the old vetrains of the cross and
those that were leaders and pillars in the church. I could name them but
shall not as their just master knows them and doubtless will reward them
accordingly. I can truly say I love all Gods people yet I must say I
love those that so much encouraged me in their constant attendance the
best and I think my heavenly Father loves them best.

After I give up my Fredonia church I continued to preach at New Salem,
the church I organized East of old Salemtown and at Sugar Grove and
Piney Fork and was preaching to these churches when that unnecessary
wicked and bloody war came up, which drenched our land in blood and
caused the death of 900,000 men 200,000 widows and orphans, more than
100,000 maimed and crippled and a national debt that our childrens
children will not nor can not pay and what is still worse than all
demoralized the black population amounting to over 4,000,000 and all in
probability will cause their destruction both here and hereafter and
this is not all. look at the great increase of wickedness and infidelity
throughout our land and country. What caused all this. it hasn't
happened by chance, there was a cause and as the last generation on
Earth will read the history of these once United States and ask the
cause, I think it is right and just to at my grandchildren should know
where their father stood and what was his view and feelings during that
time of this great destruction and especially would I place myself right
on this subject as I have often been misrepresented. 1st then as it
regards slavery I was raised in the midst of them and inherited one from
my father, the one that I sold and recorded it on page 97. as one of the
great errors of my life and at my mothers death a Negro boy fell to me
and my Dear Sister Polly and she of her own goodness made me a present
her half and I feel greatly to rejoice that when he died some two years
before the war, he died shouting and told me the day before that his
faith in the redeemer was strong and he saw his way clear to a better
world. and I have no doubt that he is today better off than any of his
fellow blacks that are alive, not withstanding they are all free and a
few doing well as for this life. Yet ever since I have been able to
think and reason correctly I have looked upon slavery as a great moral
Evil and have looked forward when the slaves would be free, but never
never did I do much as dream that it would be in my day. my views on
this subject being known even in my youthful days I have frequently been
called by my friends Old Anthony Laughlin (a near neighbor when I was a
boy who was bitterly opposed to slavery). I am altogether reconciled
with their freedom, but by no means pleased with their condition. They
are a poor helpless ignorant people and by no means to blame for the
blood, the rivers of blood, that was shed and the awful condition of our
country. I can't help by sympathize with them and have more than once
urged it upon my brothern that we must do something for them or they
will all become heathens again and demoralize the young and rising
generation with whom they have to mix. 2nd As it regards secession or
the dividing of our states into two or more independent governments. I
have been and still am bitterly opposed and have often been called a
secessionest but I have again and again expressed myself that if there
was an impassable wall between the two parts that could only be got
around at each end and that by water that it would be best for us to be
one nation and how often in gone by years has my heart been made sick
when the great statesman John C. Calhoun, my mothers full cousin has or
was contending for nulification and seccession, but as I have often said
that should the states divide as the North seem to be willing at the
commencement of the fuss then I would give up my vote to the sunny south
and I have more than once ten times fold expressed myself and views by
the Irishmans wages who was working for two bits a day. Some one told
him it was too little, he said he knew that his price was four bits a
day but when he could not get Love that he always took what he could
get. Just so with me. Union was my first choice if not that, then to
unite with the South was my next choice. Perhaps it was from taking or
advocating this policy that caused some to think and to call me a rebel
not withstanding I was in favor of the states remaining united. Yet I
fully believed that any state if they thought Justice had not been done
them they had a right to withdraw, and I think so yet, notwithstanding
the sword has decided otherwise and perhaps General Bonyparte was partly
right at least when he said that Providence always went with the heavy
Batallion, this is not always so, success or victory does not always
prove that party right.  history as well as observation shows that
Justice or right does not at all times belong to them that are
victorious and I feel to thank the great Judge of the quick and the dead
that he has revealed to us that he has appointed a day when Justice will
be done.

The 2nd thing that we shall consider is the cause of so much confusion
and distress We might settle this question in a few words by saying that
sin both in the North and in the South was the great primary cause for
had we been a holy and righteous nation we never would have gotten into
such a calamity, the great ruler of the universe would never have
permitted, but when we reflect, that there is no future judgement for
nations or corperations they must be dealt with here while they are such
(the future Judgment will be personally individual) but here in this
world wicked nations, always has been and always will be punished while
they are such see the City of Babylon, the cities of the plains and all
those nations that were destroyed by Moses, Joshua, some of these were
destroyed immediately by Judgment from heaven, the rest were destroyed
by God permittment.

There is no thoughtful man but must admit that we are a great sinful
nation besides all the sins of Individuals such as drunkards, profanity,
debauchry, Murder, theft, ingratitude, lying, Man worship, Sabbeth
breaking, Mormanism, Universalism, besides these we are guilty, very
guilty of three great National sins -- The Mexican War, The driving of
the poor Indians from their homes and their fathers graves are two, but
the great Master sin is my view is the desecration of the holy Sabbeth,
some 40 years ago there were many petitions signed by tens of thousands
of people sent to congress to put a stop to the carrian the mail on the
holy sabbeth, but their petitions were not granted, the committee on the
petitions at the head of which was Richard Johnson of Ky reported and
substance of the report was that we were too great a nation to obey the
command of God. See Ex 20-8-11.  The promise of Isa 58 13 14th. See the
wrath of God on Sabbeth breakers Neb 13 18th. The carrian of the mail on
the Sabbeth day has in effect given license to steam boats, rail roads,
drays and pleasure carriages, travelilng visiting, Wonder not then that
the wrath of the almighty is kindled against us and just commenced and
instead of our nation humbling themselves in dust and ashes they are
heaping up wrath to themselves against the day of Gods Wrath and will
not learn wisdom from past history of Gods dealing with former Nations
of our earth who stopped short of Gods purpose.

We return to the inquiry what caused so much blood and treasure to be
???, We look about and around and we see demoralization infidility cism,
distress, misery, what caused all these calamities there can only be
effect from cause (not effect without a cause) says the inquiring mind.
We have already pointed out the cause (our sins and iniquity) Hez 2
Chron 32 31. There are many that make slavery the cause we must asurdly
deny their position from the fact that slavery existed more than a
hundred years in American and did not produce war and disorder. Slavery
was made the ocassion yet it was not the cause, but again others
supposed with honest feelings that secession was the cause. This I also
deny, now I ask where is the man that will not acknowledge that after
all the south had received, if they had been let alone, that there would
have been no war, and if no war than now of the evil that is upon us,
for the South declared and published to the world that all she wanted
was to be let alone and permitted to manage her own business. I concede
the point that secession was made the pretence not the cause, for it was
its self the effect of a cause, no cause can produce a cause so no
effect can produce an effect, but after the cause has produced an effect
that effect may become a secondary cause and produce another effect. I
think without prejudice or dishonesty the first cause that has produced
all the war and misery. I can preset so plainly that all that will see
may see plainly. I have been an observer or a reader of the times for
the last fifty years, and from the year 1820 (Missouri Compromise) up
the the firing of the first gun at Ft Sumter, I have observed a constant
increase from year to year of encroachment by the north on the rights of
the South and this invasion of rights was doubtless caused by the spirit
of Abolitionism and who dare deny that this principle or spirit was the
first moving cause of all the evils morally and politically that we are
now suffering and other evils that are to come that are not seen by the
great mass of people and only seen by the sober fore-seeing politician.
But however as much as I abhor and detest the effects produced by this
spirit I cannot nor I will not unchristianize my brothern of the north,
for believing that slavery was a sin and especially the way that many of
them were treated in the South for my own blood has been made to chill
time and again when floating along in my flat boats down on the coast,
to hear all round of a still morning about daybreak, the cracking of the
whips and the groaning and the begging of the negroes for mercy. But I
blame the North for their usurping of the perogative of heaven and
taking vengance in their own hands Deut 32-35th, Psalm 94, Rom 12-19th,
Heb 10.

Then believing as I did and still do that it was an abolition war and
the strong bearing down on the weak. I could not but sympathize with the
South, not because I was in favor of slavery not because I approved
secession (though i believed a state had the right) but because I
honestly believed that the North was greatly misusing the South, hence
some of my brothern where I was preaching refused to pay their
subscription to me and looked upon me as a rebel. I quit preaching to
them and they got other preachers those who like themselves voted men
and money to carry on what I believed to be an unnecessary and an
unconstitutional and consequently an unholy and wicked war. I felt very
reluctant in quiting preaching to my brothern that I loved and that I
had been preaching to so long and particularly Sugar Grove and Piney
Fork. The first of these I had organized and preached to for several
years and the last named church Piney Fork as I have stated elsewhere I
took charge of it (a mere shell) in 1837.  I had camped there six years
and been there at 22 camp meetings in succession, had seen hundreds
converted there, had preached to them several years after I had quit
them, as their stated pastor and there I had selected the last resting
place for my departed relatives, my mother and four of my children sleep
there and I expect to rest there myself and also many others of my
beloved friends. Yet politics run so highly that some of the members
made their brags, that no one of the church ask me to dinner one day
that I want there, with their preacher they had been led astray
by.....on abolitionist, I shan't name him if his name reaches posterity
it must be through another channel, but thank the Lord there is a great
change in both the churches.

I must now record some of the hardest and most painful trials of my life
and how often have I thought that if I am one of Gods children, that
surely I am one of the least, one of the most ungrateful and that all my
trials and afflictions have been much less than my sins have deserved
and yet however I may and often do doubt my religion yet on close
examination of my hope of heaven I find it resting and resting alone on
my redeemer and nothing else. I find in my heart a principle of love to
God to his people and his word and from this I derive great consolation.
John says God is Love and he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God and
God in him John 4 16th. with all your Philosophy and arguments you can't
persuade that Mother that she don't love her children and why because
she knows and feels in her heart that she loves it and knowledge and
feeling are said to be naked truth, now I know and feel in my heart that
I love Holiness, Justice, truth and mercy however short I may be and am
in professing them yet, I do know and feel that I love them and they
being a part of the divine character if I love them I must love God and
furthermore John says 5 1st "and every one that loveth him that begat
(God) loveth him that is begotten." If I know the feelings of my own
heart wherever I find a human being (I care not for name or color) that
possesses holiness, justice, mercy, truth with humility and meekness, my
whole soul is drawn out in love to them and with them I want to live
here and forever here after. David says Psalm 97 - 10 Ye that Love the
Lord hate evil. I can truthfully say because I feel it in my heart that
I hate injustice oppression, cruelty, falsehood, pride, and every sin
even when committed by myself and not withstanding there are many
persons whose ways I detest I hate, yet respect and love them. The
savior loved the young man Mark 10-21 yet he had chosen his portion here
in this world.

From the year 1860 to 1865 were the times that tryed mens souls and may
I not say their faith too. for many made shipwreck of their profession
of religion both in the North and in the South. In 1860 our political
strife as a nation was consumated. It was commenced by the Abolition
party in 1820 and was not brought to a point by election of a party of
sectional President Abraham Lincoln and upon which followed all our
calamities and was as noted on page 197. I shall now record some of my
afflictions and troubles and the first that I shall name is the death of
my children. Mary Serena Foster died Aug 16, 1863 and left 6 little
children living three dead. Alfred Lafayett named after his uncle that
started to Calif in 1849 and has not been heard from since. Minerva
Jane, Robertus Love named after his Uncle that died a prisoner in
Johnson Island in 1864. Mary Caroline, Elizabeth Adeline, George Thomas,
named for two of his uncles, Serena Bell, William Hutchinson dead and
Nancy Evelin dead. My next bereavement was my first born my son Robertus
Calhoun, he died a prisoner in Johnson Isle on Mar 3 1864. He was
captured at Port Hudson in Miss, in the month of July 1863. he left a
widow but no children. He opposed secession until his state seceded and
being a states rights man, he went into the army to defent his state, he
was an officer in the artillery service. He was a graduate from
Louisville Medical College. My second son William Washington, he was
also a practicing physician he lay helpless on his bed for near two
years with chronic rheumatism he suffered a great deal and died Aug 27,
1866, he left a widow and four children living. His two eldest Freeland
Calhoun and Emmitt La Fayette both dead before their father. William
Ewing, Leon Kennett and John Renick and a daughter named Lilly Joy
survived him. However dark these providences may seem to me, I feel
assured that its all right I have been given the blessed consolation to
believe their souls are all at rest, they had all been for years
professing a hope in Jesus and so far as I can learn they walk according
with their profession and those that stood round their bed and closed
their eyes testify that they all died in peace not doubting and now what
wish I for, for why should I dread to follow my loved ones see on page
64, 168, 191, 192. My dear children what I nursed and rock in my arms to
sleep and for whom I had so many anxious thoughts and for whom (with one
exception) I have so often prayed and shall I not adopt, the language of
the king of Israel and say they can't come to me they once could and did
but I can and will go to them.

I promise on page 180 to record some special providences in reference to
myself. Perhaps there are none that believed the Bible but what believes
in general Superintendence or providence over this world, but besides
this there is a special watch care over the health and lives of men in
preserving and directing that is out of the common course of the laws of
Nature. There was special and visible interposition of the devine power
when the Prison house at Philippi was shaken, Paul and Silas liberated
and the Jailor converted. likewise the woman of Samaria. I shall never
forget while I remember anything the Rattle Snake when I was a young
man, hardly grown, I was plowing in an old field, where I was raised and
being fond of reading I carried a small book on my bosom at one end of
my row stood a plum tree quite shady. I stopped my horse under one side
took out my book and lay down in grass on the other side on my back. My
head on the roots of the tree, after reading and resting some time I
turned on my left side to get us and there lay a quail close to my body
and right under my left arm a large rattle snake and altho more than
half a century is past since then, when I think of the snake even now it
all most makes one tremble, say not there was no special providence in
keeping the snake quiet and me from lying down on it at that time I was
trying to seek religion. The sinner as I was, I felt thankful, to the
devine being for preserving my life and while surveying not long since I
paused in sight of the place. I thought of the circumstances and thanked
God again. I looked upon the preservation of my life in the battle of
the 8th January 1815 at New Orleans when the bullets were whising round
me thick and several other preservations that I could name all as
special providences There is another matter that has given me no little
grief and affliction of ???. My wife after going up with me to the altar
with our seventh and last child for Baptism and some years after joined
the Baptists and carried with her one of my daughters in to the creek
and became so strenous for much water that I feel fearful that she
believes it essential to salvation and moreover has so distracted the
minds of two of our children that they have not as yet attached
themselves to any church. they know not which is right they remind me of
the traveller that when he came to the fork of the road he stood still
until night came up on him and the howl of the wolf scared him to pass
on to try to get somewhere for shelter and safety. I make these remarks
not because I am opposed to immersion for I believe it valid baptism and
I have immersed numbers during my ministry and that with good
conscience. But the sectarian bigotry that it engenders, the bar that it
sets up at communion table. I conscientious and sincerely believe that
all that are christians are made so not by water much or little, but as
Paul says by faith in Jesus Christ Gal 3-26th For ye are all children of
God by faith in Jesus Christ, if God is the father of all Christians, is
he not displeased to see some of his children prevented from setting
down to his table by sectarian bigotry. Does it not dishonor the devine
being? Now if there was nothing else but this close communion it would
prevent me from being a baptist, yet I love the baptist church for its
humility - I think they have less pride than any other denomination my
own not excepted. And I must remark here that however much I love the
Presbyterian church for their government order and training up their
children in the admonition of the Lord, yet I could not be one and
receive and believe all the doctrine in the Old Westminster confession
of faith, not withstanding.  I think it one of the best productions that
was ever weitten by an uninspired pen. Yet the doctrine of fatality
seems to me to be clearly taught, there is not in the Bible the doctrine
that revelation teaches seems to me without one single doubt to be: that
God so loved the world (that is every human being) that he gave his only
and well beloved son to suffer and die that all might be if saved if
they would and the Bible teaches that Jesus Christ tasted death for
every one of Adams race. and also it teaches that the holy spirit the
third person in the Trinity strives with and reproves the world the same
that the Father loved and that Christ died for that whosoever will may
come and be saved.

And while on this subject I must be permitted to say I professed
religion at a Methodist Campmeeting and love them for their zeal for
their doctrine of the necessity of holiness of heart in order to
happiness in heart.  Yet I could never be a Methodist unless perfection
is not taught in the Bible, and the ??? righteousness of Christ by faith
is my only hope of Exceptance with God never the less I believe them as
well as the Presbyterians and Baptist to be a people (not the people) of
God and if I should be so happy as to get to heaven, I hope to meet many
of them there as well as some from other sectaries, the Roman Catholics,
the Campbellites and Universalist not excepted. I wish no one to think
that I was opposed to my wifes immersion, for no other mode would have
answered her the design of the Institution. The answer of a good
conscience. She never had been baptised but it was quite different in
the case of our daughter. She had been baptised by pouring and her
Mother setting by my side and consenting to the act, then to persuade
her to be re-baptised I think was quite a sin it was in effect
denighning the efficiency of the Blood of Christ and laying the stress
on water that is no where Justified in scripture - I hope and trust and
its my constant prayer that the Blood of Christ by faith (not water) may
wash and thourally prepare us to meet and enjoy the holy Savior of God
in his holy habitation above where there will be neither Jew, nor
gentile, male or female, Sectarian bigotry, but all one in Christ Jesus,
the Lord.

This memoir is the property of T. S. Love, Irondale, Mo. being the Life
of his Father a precious memento and to be kept subject to his order or
returned by a careful conveyance at his expense.

May 20, 1872.